Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Taking the blame

6 replies

namechangedforthis1980 · 11/09/2019 17:17

Anyone else been in my position?

My 15 year old blames me for everything. He blames me for separating from his dad ( he was a young baby), he blames me for him only seeing his dad once a fortnight. The list goes on.

The truth is, his Dad left. He attempted to cheat on me, I found out, confronted him and he left. Left me to bring up a baby alone, with loads of debt. He moved on.

Since then I've battled to give DS the best life I can. I've done my best to keep a relationship between him and his dad. His Dad still sees him EOW ( when he doesn't cancel) but nothing in between. No holidays ( even though he has his other children extra) no nothing. I've tried, he just isn't that interested.

DS is angry. He wants to know details (why we split up etc), but I'm reluctant as I've always felt it's wrong to bad mouth his Dad.

What do I say? I cling on to hope that he acts like this because we're actually quite close and he knows he feels safe saying it. It's just so hurtful.

I also hate the thought that he's spent his childhood feeling like this and believing I've ruined everything.

I've suggested to him that we seek someone to talk to, maybe someone at school or a counsellor, but he goes mad at the suggestion Sad

OP posts:
Windydaysuponus · 11/09/2019 17:19

Your ds is being damaged by not knowing imo.
At his age you are not responsible for managing his relationship with ex. But you do need to maintain your own.
He needs to know.

PicsInRed · 11/09/2019 17:34

You're going to have to sit him down and, gently, with love, tell him the truth.

Presently, he's losing two parents. He needs you back. Tell him the truth.

namechangedforthis1980 · 11/09/2019 18:39

Gosh you're so right, I know you are.

OP posts:
andrea11745 · 23/10/2019 05:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Chewysmum · 23/10/2019 12:02

I think he's old enough to know too. I agree in principle about not bad mouthing fathers but in practice, kids sometimes just need to know the truth. In order to assuage your sons anger towards you, you have to redirect it to the parent who actually deserves the anger. You're are one who has been there 24-7 for 15 years, your son needs to understand that

Lllot5 · 23/10/2019 12:04

Tell him the truth he is old enough to hear it. Only the truth mind no embellishments. If he’s as bad as you say you won’t need to. Good luck.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread