Maintenance

[namechangedforthis1980]

Hi

I've just received an annual letter from the CMS stating that my Ex pays nil this year for DS.

Up until a year ago he worked for a company, he then moved and had no work for about a month, then since then has been working self employed.

He's claiming the CMS have said that until he's done a full year paying self employment tax they can't take his work into consideration.

Now Ex does pay for DS, most of the time. He's suggesting that we just continue doing it how we are doing it. My issue is, he isn't reliable so I'd rather have it done properly, or at least have it sorted through CMS in case it goes wrong so I can get them to help. In other words, in previous years we've received the letter stating how much and then he's payed it. He wants to continue with that, without the CMS telling him how much he should pay.

Is he trying it on? Not paying tax?! I don't really understand. He's earning, surely they wouldn't have children go without because he doesn't have a full years self assessment yet?!

I know he's paying, which is obviously great, but I'm not comfortable with it being just on a basis of an agreement between us.

For self employed people, they have to have their profit and loss to make a calculation. At the minute he doesn’t have this, so unfortunately nil is correct at the minute. His calculation will probably be low for a few years unless his business really takes off, as profit and loss can be tweaked for tax, CMS etc. Also when CMS make a calculation, they charge you to collect it, so will encourage to both to agree to direct pay anyways. If he wants to pay now, agree to a figure and get him to set up a standing order

Sou ds to me like he's doing the right thing. He is entitled to pay nil, but is standing hy the amount he was previously payingnyou anyway, to make sure you don't have a hole in your budget. You can't put that ontk a formal footing, because he isn't obliged to do it! So best just to appreciate that you have a good one, who is doing right by his kids.

@SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad , unfortunately he's not really a good one. He might be keen to suggest this but he's very quick to fail to pay ( without saying anything to me). It took several years to get him to pay regular maintenance for DS in the first place. Hence my concern that he could be trying it on to avoid having the commitment of it being in writing what he has to pay.

I don't really understand the self employment thing, he doesn't have his own business, but works for a company in a self employed basis (as far as I'm aware), not long ago he told me how he's earning better than he's ever earned before. I know I sound doubtful, but unfortunately he's done a lot to make me doubt him in the past, so I can't help it!

It just seems so odd that because he has to sort out his own tax then he doesn't have to pay, but I'm guessing that's just the way it works!

@Soosiesue - he won't agree to a standing order, so I just have to hope he pays on time

It's so depressing that a dad who has paid the minimum for x years is regarded as a good one that we should be grateful for having. I think the advice so far is correct as far as CMS goes but let's not give the guy a pat on the back because he's graciously agreeing to paying something towards his kids when he isn't legally obliged too. The fact that he won't set up a standing order suggests he is first and foremost looking after no. 1 but it might be what you have to settle for for now.

It must be lovely to have all the benefits and have money from your ex as well. Unfortunately I have to provide a home and support my child on my own two feet with no safety net.

Where does the op state she is receiving benefits? And even if she is, if she is caring for a young child at home that may be the most cost effective thing to do rather than use childcare. The maintenance is for the child who has TWO parents, both of whom should be contributing a sensible amount. Nowhere does the op say she is entirely reliant on it.

It must be lovely to have all the benefits and have money from your ex as well. Unfortunately I have to provide a home and support my child on my own two feet with no safety net.

It's not a race to the bottom.

Your children's father not supporting them at doesn't mean that OP is lucky to have one who pays when he feels like it and doesn't bother sometimes.

I can't see where OP says she's on benefits but even if she were, it's not he life of luxury some people seem to think it is. Even if she were, you'd have no idea why, the child could be disabled, or their Mum could.

I think being a single parent is hard wether you work or don't, don't be angry at other women whose exes only support their children sometimes versus some exes supporting their children never.

Be angry at the men ( and it's mostly men) who thinks it's ok to ditch their responsibility to the children they created and the society that allows them to get away with it.

@Parent999 - where does it say I receive benefits?