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Just Become Single...What do i do now????

10 replies

mishelfish · 04/08/2007 09:11

I've literally just split up with my partner. I have made an application for benefits, but i am worried about losing the house, we have just moved into a rented house (last month) and both of our names are on the tenancy, will housing benefit pay for all the rent now, or only half because he is still liable for the other half? i cant afford to pay for it all, i cant go back to work (was supposeed to go back this week)have no-one to look after ds and am panicking about bills and money in general, not to mention being lonely and bloody miserable.
does anyone have any advice? what do i tell the letting agents? if i say that he has moved out and i am on my own with no job then they will say that we have brohken the agreement and that i cant afford on paper to stay there on my own. i love my house, i dont want to leave.

OP posts:
allgonebellyup · 04/08/2007 09:18

i had this problem, you will be ok.
i actually was quite sneaky and didnt tell the landlord my dh had moved out, and applied for housing benefit which was paid directly to me and not the landlord.
but if this would worry you, i guess you can only explain the situation to the landlord and see what they say.
you cant predict these things happening so they cant accuse you of breaking the agreement.
He may ask you to move out but im not sure, he may be happy to accept housing benefit?

Hope you are ok, i only split from my dh a few months ago and it does get better, you get used to things.

zookeeper · 04/08/2007 09:31

I wouldn't say anything to the letting agents just yet - if you can scrape together this month's rent pay it and in the meantime find out about your benefits position. You might find that if you can get a job for 16 hours a week and manage to find some childcare and ex pays maintenance you can afford it.

It's very tricky to get a tenant out of a house and the landlord would have to give you notice (2 months I think) so you've got a bit of time to sort yourself out.

Keep posting to let us know how you get on

TwoIfBySea · 05/08/2007 11:50

mishelfish I know exactly where you are coming from. My dh walked out on us 2 weeks ago and trying to get everything done with dts (age 5) in tow has been nearly impossible. It doesn't help that he has left us in debt and in arrears with everything.

I went to the council on Friday re housing benefit/council tax and they won't do anything until I either supply 2 months bank statements showing I am on my own or prove I am on income support! Sleepless nights are a way of life. I'm going to the local advice shop tomorrow to get help in sorting this mess out. If you have one near you, or a CAB they offer help with this and will contact whoever on your behalf if needed. The local jobcentre dealt with all the income support stuff and I have an advisor there who is going to help me find suitable work, I am hopeful this won't take long. I just need to wait for everything to be processed and then get on with it.

I am glad dh has left now, once the money is sorted out then we will be fine just the three of us. He was nothing but a selfish sh*t and it is up to me to make sure dts end up as fine young men and nothing like him at all.

Being lonely, having no one to cuddle who is over 3 1/2' is the worst thing but there is nothing I can do. Have heart mishelfish, we will get through this, we will prevail even though my life is now a Gloria Gaynor song (one which I hate too!)

EscapeFrom · 05/08/2007 11:53

Do exactly what AGBU did - don't tell your landlord, just carry on paying the rent as usual. the benefits agency should see no reason to contact him to tell him - explain your position with your landlord to the housing officer.

jellyjelly · 05/08/2007 19:21

contact gingerbread but call first thing at 10 when they open and talk through all the benfit situation with them. For me they were much better than the cab as they are also all single parents or have been in the past. Really good.

It will get better but the first month is always the worse.

Is your child benefit paid into a joint account? If so change it straight away to one that is yours.

They will not claw back the money so this is a proirty as is tax credits if you get them with the date you split .

mishelfish · 05/08/2007 22:14

thanks everyone for all the advice, its all just so confusing. will try gingerbread as went to CAB and although helpful in the way of what benefits i could claim, didnt really explain what i should do for the best, if you know what i mean!

am extra confused now though, cos my xp hasnt actually moved out of the house yet, he works nights so i dont see him much but it just feels like nothing has actually changed in our relationship. we are being civil to each other and have talked about what has gone on, but nothing has been reolved. i broke up with him after having enough of his selfish irresponsible behaviour and i know that i cant continue with the relationship whilst i cant trust him and until he sorts out his drink/drugs self destruction issues but he hasnt made any effort to say that he will.
i feel like he has the best of both worlds at the moment, the house and family and the freedom to do what he wants cos i canmt say anything as we are not together. arrgh!! his argument for staying is that he has no money as he has just paid all the bills and rent for this month (which is true) but i dont know what is going on in his head.
the more he is here the more tempted i am to give in and have a cuddle or give it another try. have thought about breaking up with him on numerous occasions before due to the same behaviour and the last time he did this (went on a bender and came home 2 days later) i issued an ultimatum of leaving him if it happened again, which i have now done so i feel like if we did get back together we would only be here again in a months time unless he changes which he says he cant promise to do. apart from this stupid thing that he does every so often (but too often for me to accept) we get on brilliantly and he is agreat dad. im fed up of crying to my friends about the same thing over and over again.

sorry about that, just had to let it out, i feel like i have ended our relationship but it doesnt seem to be that way in physical reality! its doing my head in!

OP posts:
Tinkerbel5 · 06/08/2007 17:15

mishelfish at the moment you arent exactly a lone parent and the council will still see you as being part as a couple whilst he is still there, the only way to receive housing benefit is to prove to the council that you live seperate lives until one of you move out, that means not sleeping, eating or socialising together.

jellyjelly · 06/08/2007 21:33

I was going to say that at the moment you are not a single parent as your are living together. He or you needs to move out even if he kips on the friends floor.

You might not be able to get half of what you are entitled to if anything until he does.

tetti · 30/08/2007 18:11

Hi There,

I also live in rented accommodation but when I contacted our letting agents to let them know wthat my partner had left me,they said they'd just make out a new contract in my name.
He is still staying under the same roof whilst he's looking for a place(hopefully it'll be soon!),so that I can apply for housing benefit and taxcredits(I work but it'd be a total struggle to pay for everything myself).
Gingerbread are great,helped me a lot,did you call them?

charliecat · 30/08/2007 18:16

You are not single till hes gone.
I split up with xp in May, we split up on the 5th I think, but he had just paid everything for that month and didnt go till the 30th.
Is it repairable?

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