A general rant after the biennial visit

[newlifenewname]

Ds (6) has cried since 12 noon and has only stopped now to eat his dinner. I resent xdh for how distressed he gets. I actively support contact but as it happens so rarely I do sometimes feel that no contact would work better.

I also relented and allowed xdh to drive children back from Sussex to Herts as I have no money for petrol this week after a trip to Sussex to drop them off and then to Nottingham for a funeral all in same week, oh! and the fact that this month's CSA is 3 weeks late!

Now, the reason I got all control freaky about driving them was initially because their father had his licence removed due to repeated speeding offences. He has only just got it back in the last month or so, but now I discover he was smoking in the car with them. "but Daddy had the window open".

I didn't even know he had become a smoker, but caught a whiff of cigarette smoke when they all arrived here.

So, he'll have been driving them around in a car with him smoking all the while this week. I don't want them to see their Dad smoking particularly and I REALLY don't want them inhaling his smoke.

I would be more worried about his driving than his smoking, why wouldnt you want your kids to see him smoking, he is an adult, sorry just a bit confused

I don't mind them seeing people smoking obviously, but their dad is a role model and so I don't think smoking in front of them is very wise. If I were a smoker I'm sure I'd be more relaxed about this but I'm not and I hope they don't become smokers. I had a throat tumour not so long ago, and although it was non malignant it did make me very worried about similar sorts of stuff. I used to smoke if I had a big night out sometimes and I stopped doing that, even though it was about 2 or 3 times a year.

yes understand what you are saying, Im an ex smoker too, but children will smoke when they are older whether their parents smoked or not, I would address the driving issue with your ex and voice your concerns.

I can understand about the smoking thing, i agree about the role model bit. My ds sees his dad smoking now and when he gets back he pretends to have a cigarette. It annoys me to hell.