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What shall I tell the kids?

3 replies

zookeeper · 03/08/2007 17:21

DP moved out two weeks ago after weeks of arguments. I think eventually we will be amicable but it's all fresh and raw at the moment and we can't speak without ending up arguing.

We have three dc's aged 5(nearly6) 3 and 2. We were discussing what to tell the eldest and how when he stuck his head around the door and told us not to worry, that he would just be gald to live without arguments as long as he could see his daddy .I've spoken to him several times since and said theat we both love him and that daddy will be living somewhere else but will see him lots etc etc. He genuinely seems fine.

The other two seem unconcerned, even though dp was very involved in their care, if quite distant with them. They haven't asked about him but I mention him quite often in a positive way just in case their little minds feels that they shouldn't be talking about him but they don't seem that interested.

today I heard the youngest ask her brother where daddy was - he told her "the shops"and that was the end of it.

I don't know whether I should tell them that daddy has gone to live in another house or just let things continue, especilly as they seem so relaxed about it. Or are they? I don't want to worry them as they seem fine

Any advice as to whether or what I should tell them welcome . I don't know whether I'm doing the right thing in telling them the truth or whether I should carry on as I am.

OP posts:
lurkylou · 03/08/2007 17:41

Carry on with what you are doing - talking positively about ex and giving them the chance to talk about it if they want to.

zookeeper · 03/08/2007 18:08

thanks lurkylou

OP posts:
jellyjelly · 03/08/2007 18:47

I would tell them that he has gone to live in another house otherwise they might worry if you go to the shops that they might not see you.

My ds who was 3.5 yrs when ex and i split coped with it very well. He did get upset one day but i told him how fabulous it would be as he has 2 houses, 2 beds and different toys and that santa would visit twice and to nannies house too. I only wish i had thought that through properly!!!! I spoke about the positives and he has not be upset much at all.

You are obviosuly doing a good job and 0only you will know what your kids are like. We can only tell our stories.

Good luck

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