Changing my children’s surname.

[Mumzielove3880]

Hi,

Can anyone help me??
I am looking to legally change my children’s surname to my own. I split from their father 4 years ago we were never married and I stupidly put them in his surname when they were born. The relationship broke down due to him mentally and physically abusing me. To which the police had been called several times. For the first year the children see him on a regular basis with no issues in drop off and collection. On the last time the exchange was doubt with solely between us he became physically violent towards me in which the children where present along with his new partner and her child, the police got called who then referred us to social services and it was dealt with through the court I was given parental responsibility but had to make the children available once a week to which the visits had to be supervised by paternal grandmother. This was fine until the molestation order expired after a year, although the children had reported issues to myself and the school about issues around contact because the children were in my care SS felt no reason to interfere. When the molestation order expired he started to collect the children from my property and drop them back contact between us was never made he would always wait outside. Over 75% of the visits the children informed me they had been in the pub all day whilst ‘daddy got drunk’. On the last time he dropped the children home he smashed up my car threatened several of my neighbors and numerous other offences which he went to court for a new restraining order was put into place. I spoke with PG and the children again would only see him supervised. The children last see him December 2018 to which he was drunk and was assaulting people infront of the children. They have not seen him since and no longer want anything to do with him. They are 6&9 and have asked to have their surname changed to mine as they do not want to be associated with him. Is it likely that I would be able to get this granted without his permission?? I wouldn’t like to contact him due to previous issues at fear he may be violent towards myself and cause issues with the children. Has anyone else been through a similar situation and had a positive outcome?

Any suggestions would be great.

T.I.A

Distressed mummy

If he doesn't agree you would need to go to court about it

www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll/change-a-childs-name

Post this over in legal for valid advice, it is possible but from what you wrote it won't be easy without consent.

Thank you have just reposted

There's been a few posts about this subject over on legal lately. I was extremely shocked at others experiences, especially a court believing that its in a childs best interest to keep the surname of an absent parent to maintain the link. That's my situation so I was angered by this. My DS lives by my surname and its the name everyone, even child benefit and tax credits use for him. If say it's more damaging and confusing making him keep a name of someone he has no connection to.

From what I've read over on legal it isn't easy. But I wish you the best outcome

The court will almost certainly not agree to a name change without consent of the other parent. It is not considered on the whole to be in the best interests of the children.

My ex was arrested for assaulting my child. I still cannot legally change their name - even though child is over 12 and VERY clear about their wishes and the reasons behind them.

By all means try, but don't expect to get anywhere.

You're unlikely to get it changed as you need his consent.

What you could do is change your surname to the same as the children's, by deed poll. Then when they are both 16, you can all change it to your original surname.

I have considered changing my name so it’s the same but I feel that would cause more issues than changing theirs.

You can't change theirs without permission from Dad though. So it isn't really an option unless he's likely to go ahead with it. And if he's anything like my ex, this is one last way of holding control over you all, so he won't.