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Original poster

I WANT TO KILL HIM!!!!!!

12 replies

tammybear · 19/09/2004 16:39

I am so annoyed with exp

Well I suppose I shouldnt put all the blame on him. He came yesterday to see dd, and we got on okay just the two of us. however, the last sort of hour i had given up trying to be nice, and just wish he would leave even though he had only been there a couple of hours but he was pissing me off about stupid crap. He went on about PR and he has the forms with him which he was suppose to give to me which he didnt. He was saying he didnt understand most of it. Well go to your bloody solicitor then you twat!!!

He was going on about my parents trying to get me a car but he doesnt seem to understand Im only living off benefits and thinks I can just get myself a loan. His parents then turned up for an hour They just sit there and watch either tv or dd. Finally took the hint when I started clearing up dd's toys.

I had an interview today so mum had to deal with them for a bit. They took dd to the park. When they got back it was so quiet. It was terrible. They just again either watching tv or dd. I was getting frustrated and was about to say "u came all this way to spend time with dd, not just 2 watch her or my tv. if you dnt want to make the effort then just leave" but as i opened my mouth to say it, exp got up to go to dd, then they put their shoes on and left!

i CANNOT stand the f**king tension everytime they come! Im not so bad with exp as i think he finds it easier without his parents there too and plus ive never liked his parents anyway but for crying out loud, why cant they just make an effort and talk!! ITS NOT THAT DAMN HARD!!!!!!!!!!

okay i feel slightly better after that rant now

OP posts:
Flossam · 19/09/2004 16:48

Poor you! People can be so frustrating can't they? Could you not mention to exP that you find it odd that PIL don't interract more with DD? Could be they just feel as awkward as you do! I don't know much about your history BTW so sorry if I'm speaking out of turn.

Original poster
tammybear · 19/09/2004 16:58

they must find it as awkward as we do, cos i dont see how they can not notice the silence. mums thinking of writing to exp's parents about it. shes usually around too and hates it just as much as i do, and we dont think its fair that we should always be the ones starting conversations. "how are you?" "hows the family?" "new car?" "been on holiday?" and all we get back in "hmm" "yea" "no" shrug

i may phone up exp in the week and have a rant at him, but luckily PR will be put off longer as the idiot forgot to give me the forms

OP posts:
aloha · 19/09/2004 20:50

To be fair, I imagine it's a very stressful situation all round. I really wouldn't get your mum to bollock them. They aren't actually doing anything bad, although I sympathise with how grim it must be. Maybe you could suggest to your ex that he takes your dd out for most of the visit - to a playcentre or the park or lunch or all three!

MeanBean · 19/09/2004 20:53

Tammybear, it's very difficult when you're not in that situation yourself, but can you just invent something you have to do in the other room whenever they come down, so that they can sit there and watch the TV with DD while you go and take the cooker apart or something?! Maybe even ironing - something which is useful, means you'll be getting on with something and don't have to be in the same room as them. Every half an hour or so you could pop your head round the door and ask them if they'd like a cup of tea, but most of the time, you'd not be with them and you'd get a job done which you might not otherwise do. Time management!

Original poster
tammybear · 19/09/2004 21:09

problem is ive only got one main room then a small kitchen downstairs, and then the bedrooms and bathroom upstairs. i try to spend my time in the kitchen or in the garden, but theres not a lot i can do. i can understand it being hard for them as well, but exp seems very unsettled when hes with his parents, and he hasnt always had a great relationship with them, so i think he cant be himself like he was yesterday when theyre around. plus it does get worse when im about, as noone likes me except dd!! and bearing in mind i always moan on here when him AND his parents are here. i didnt mind him that much yesterday which was quite weird. but i dont want to say i dont want his parents coming down because i think thats the cause of the silence and awkwardness. and they do usually take her to the park for an hour when theyre here (like today) but as its getting colder therell be less chances of them going on. sorry to go on

OP posts:
Original poster
tammybear · 19/09/2004 21:10

maybe i should of put the title as I WANT TO KILL HIS PARENTS!!!

OP posts:
SofiaAmes · 19/09/2004 23:43

I'm sure there's been an explanation somewhere else (i've got mushy brain today), but why is your exp visiting dd at your house? And even worse, why are his parents coming to your house. Why don't they all go to his house or their house or a cafe or the library or .....
It sounds like it may be a blessing that they don't talk...I'm sure they would say really stupid things if they did. When my dh's mother comes to visit she talks all the time and I only wish that she wouldn't say anything at all.

Original poster
tammybear · 19/09/2004 23:48

they come to mine as he lives 3 hours away and needs his parents to drive him down as he is only learning to drive at the moment. true that the silence is better than them saying something stupid which is what they tend to do. but dd gets conscious when theyre all watching her. u can tell it makes her feel uneasy rather than them interacting with her properly like playing with her. thats what really drives me up the wall.

OP posts:
mummytojames · 19/09/2004 23:58

tammy bear sorry dont know how old your dd is but could you try to get her to interact with them like saying why dont you go and show nana and grancha (sorry to welsh for my own good at times) and picture youve drawn or a toy you got something like that because they might be worried that if they make the wrong move they will never see her again hth

Original poster
tammybear · 19/09/2004 23:59

shes 21 months. when it was just exp she did interact with him. she would bring him books and toys to look at. but when his parents are around too she goes to her corner and tends to hang around where i am

OP posts:
beansmum · 20/09/2004 11:01

sounds like my ex, i dont see him anymore though. he used to come round and sit and stare at ds, wouldn't talk to him or cuddle him

since your dd is a bit older maybe you could encourage them all to go out for the day. your exp's parents are probably really uncomfortable about the situation as well and it would give you some time to yourself.

i know what you mean about wanting to kill them all though! my ex was soooooooo annoying, do feel a bit sad that ds wont grow up knowing him though. think it is worth making the effort for your dd to have a relationship with her dad and his parents.

TurnAgainCat · 20/09/2004 12:48

tammybear, full of sympathy for your frustration and having them in your own home, but at least your dd has a father and paternal grandparents that give a damn and take the trouble to see her, even if you feel all they are doing is "seeing" - a lot of our dchildren don't even have that much interest from the father's side. It sounds like they don't know what to do, but they might turn out to be real resource for you if you get to know them better.

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