School report

[sanityisamyth]

I don't know if I'm being particularly sensitive but this is the second time it's annoyed/upset me.

My DS was at a lovely nursery/prep school (only up to reception). He's moving school for year 1 so I don't know whether to say something or not.

The head of the pre-prep writes a comment as a closing statement to the school report along the lines of "I hope DS, and the whole of the Smith family have a lovely summer holiday"

We haven't been a family since ExH went online dating when DS was 10 months old (after an emotional relationship with an 18 year old) and I kicked him out when DS was 13 months old after ExH was seeing someone else whilst we were still married.

It's bound to be a standard comment on all of the reports and separated parents are not common at the school, so she may not realise that her copy and paste (apart from changing the child's name and "surname family") might be really upsetting for someone who actually isn't a family anymore.

Would you e-mail her to let her know?

I am a single parent. My children and I are most certainly a family. I would be very if anyone dared to suggest otherwise.

Life is hard enough without actively looking for things to be offended by.

Another single parent who loves her small family unit. You dont need to been in a relationship to validate yourself nor make you ‘a family’.

Youre still a family

It’s you* being offensive OP in this thread

Not this teacher

I was a single parent from dd being four years old, and considered she and I a family. Also in our family were my parents and brother and sister and law.

You are a family. Why do you have such a narrow view of what a 'family' is? It reads as if you want to punish your ex and the world because your relationship ended, but you're only punishing ds and yourself. Get some therapy.

The teacher didn't mean any harm. Stop adding to your own suffering by imagining yourself offended.

I have read threads on here under Lone Parents where it has stated they don't feel a 'proper family' as it is just them and a child. Perhaps many hold these views! I don't though.

There's actually quite an important point about focussing on the child here.

You and his dad may no longer be together, but you are bound together for life by your shared son. You will both always be his family, irrespective of what happened between the two of you. It's really important that all separated and divorced parents continue to recognise that - he's your ex, not your son's ex.

(And my two awesome daughters and I are definitely also a family in ourselves - we don't need a woman to make us complete)

Can't really understanding why you'd find that comment insensitive.

On the other hand, DD's class (year 1) had a school project this year "Me and My Parents". We received a letter home explaining that each child had to bring in a picture of their mum and dad when they were children and describe where each parent was born. I thought that was hugely insensitive. DD's closet class friend has no contact whatsoever with her dad and I really think schools should steer clear of projects that assume all children are part of a two parent family.

Back to your OP, the HT did absolutely nothing wrong.

I can't see how the HT comment was wrong or insensitive if I am honest.

Yes her comment is very likely on every child's report but she states family rather than referring to Mom and Dad etc. Then I feel you may of had a point.

I am a lone parent. My DS was too young when his dad decided to leave and have no contact.

We are still a family. Why wouldn't we be? He considers me and our dog his family as we live together, but understands it extends to his nan, grandad, Aunty, uncle and cousin.

I grew up wanting a 'traditional family'. But does one really exist? I am super proud of my family and realise family is not just one way