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Lone parents

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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable expecting my ex to stick to a court order

18 replies

Stressedmotherof3 · 24/07/2019 22:51

Hi,
I took my ex to court on the 2nd May because he wasn’t sticking to any agreement we made. He has other kids from other relationships which he also has a court order for.

It was agreed in the court order that he would have our son 3 out of 4 Saturdays and it is stated he can not have the other siblings on 1 of them.

2nd 1 to 1 time came and his other children were there. The following week he was an hour late picking out son up with out good reason and found it funny that our son had been crying waiting for him.

Since then he has had 1 1to 1.

The next his other children will be there. So so far half of my sons one to ones have not happened. I have offered that I think a reasonable compromise would be for him to make sure 1 of the 3 Saturdays is just our son. But he has just called me unreasonable and I should be more flexible?
I know the siblings need time together but feel it’s important my son also gets his time!

I am thinking of getting an enforcement order because I feel 3 breaches in under 3 months is to many?

OP posts:

WhatTheAbsoluteFuck · 24/07/2019 22:54

Take him back to court, arsehole

Parent999 · 25/07/2019 06:29

What a shame that he had to have a court order to state 1 on 1 time with his son.
Was it actually ordered or was it an undertaking? I would have thought it was unlikely a judge would make such an order, from the siblings point of view that must feel like they are excluded?
Anyway what would you ask the judge to do to enforce it?

eve34 · 25/07/2019 07:26

You can't enforce Contact. I know how upsetting that is to have children waiting and they not show up. Or are late. But no one can force nrp to see their kids.

As for 1-1 for your son what is the reason behind that? I never had time with my dad once he had my brother we were just family and that was that.

He clearly doesn't priorities your sons needs to have a relationship with him. So I would stop trying. As you are only sending yourself mad trying.

dontdoubtyourself · 25/07/2019 07:39

As a mum of three do you make sure you have only one of your children for a whole day once a week?

I don't get it.. When you've got siblings it's normal to share time and carve out individual time within that time..

Itssosunnyout · 25/07/2019 07:42

Seek advice from a solicitor and take to court again.

Original poster

Stressedmotherof3 · 25/07/2019 07:47

It is ordered not just stated. The judge put it in place for him to build a relationship with our son with out his other demanding children which he claimed needed more time with him than our son.
Yes I do make sure I get one to one time with my other children

OP posts:

RubbingHimSourly · 25/07/2019 07:47

God I don't think you're being fair at all.

Court ordered 1 to 1? Really?? How would that work if the mother to his other children ordered he have 1 on 1 with each child? It wouldn't would it.

Stop being so controlling, it doesn't sound healthy at all.

SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad · 25/07/2019 08:20

That is a seriously weird stipulation. Seems designed to undermine the sibling relationship, and your ex's ability to parent on his own terms.

YouJustDoYou · 25/07/2019 08:23

"HIs other demanding children" - wow. Just, wow.

Parent999 · 25/07/2019 08:23

I must say one court order is restrictive enough but if he has two separate court orders for separate children that sounds like a nightmare to organise.

Original poster

Stressedmotherof3 · 25/07/2019 08:39

They were his words not mine

OP posts:

Contraceptionismyfriend · 25/07/2019 08:47

I think the 1 - 1 is ridiculous. He is apart of the sibling unit and dad should be able to parent all of his children without such stupid rules.

If you do take it back to court be careful that another huge doesn't scrap that particular rule.

Original poster

Stressedmotherof3 · 25/07/2019 08:53

In the cold light of day I am probably being a bit unreasonable.
Think after all the times of him not showing up and breaking ever agreement we have ever made just makes me think the worst every time. Which is why I vented on here and not to him.
Thank you all for the reply’s. Hopefully this will sort it’s self out.
He actually has 3 court orders but his eldest two now refuse to see him because of how differently they feel treated from the others. I guess some times when we are angry we don’t see things clearly

OP posts:

3xcookedchips · 25/07/2019 08:59

3 x in 3 months is not enough to take it back to court - also the 1-2-1 is very restrictive - is this something that was actually ordered by the judge or was greed between the 2 of you and therefore by consent? if so he can argue he's tried it, it doesnt work and is not practical.
Unless there are significant breaches in a short space time and order needs about a year before you should take it back - and even then you need some good reasons...

Original poster

Stressedmotherof3 · 25/07/2019 09:13

It was ordered not just agreed between the 2 of us

OP posts:

Whitebeltatlife · 25/07/2019 09:20

Although your ex sounds like a dick I think you demanding his other children aren’t there on one of the weekends is wrong. If my ex tried telling me my son with my partner and my step daughter couldn’t be present on one weekend that I have my kids I wouldn’t be having none of it. Completely ridiculous.

Starlight456 · 25/07/2019 22:32

The problem with court orders are you have to make the children available not they have to take them .

pikapikachu · 26/07/2019 02:37

Yabu

If he has 3 kids then all kids get a one on one week ? It wouldn't be possible for all of the kids to have the same as there's not enough days for your ex to cram it all in in.

If you had 2 kids with him would you insist each had a one on one day with him? If he has a contact order with the other mum then he can't really change how often he has his kids.

I suspect you asked for this because you wanted your ex to put some effort in and parent your son rather than you asking him to change the contact pattern with the other mum to annoy everyone else.

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