No gift from her father for her 16th?

[ROZ12]

Hi all

My dd visited her father and missed her 16th with him as she had a GCSE exam on the day. She came home disappointed that he didn’t give her any cash. Her step mum gave her back with some re gifting rubbish. Should she mention it? Or keep quiet ? He give his new children big gifts every birthday .

Your poor daughter. It's not about the giftz I guess - it's about the acknowledgement and the sense that he cares. She's entitled to be angry & upset about it.

I'd encourage her to say something, because when this stuff goes unaddressed for a long period, the issues can add up and cause a fundamental breakdown in the relationship. However, whether she actually says something or not is up to her.

Exactly it’s the unfairness too between her siblings. She just knows that he made a big deal via text about her 16th.. so where is the gift?maybe he forgot?

Not sure forgetting would be an excuse. I mean, I hold the official titla of World's Worst Birthday Rememberer, and I can't imagine ever forgetting my own child's birthday!

How's your relationship with him? You could always drop him a text to 'remind' him and let him know that his daughter is upset.

I understand but it does depend on financial circumstances, if step mum is the high earner for instance? Seems mean on the face of it

That's certainly not okay, concerning that his other children get gifts - if he'd be against gifts in general, I'd be okay.

Relationship not great, he is a high earner. Just gifted his nephew with all sorts for his 18th!

I think at 16 she gets it . . You have to let her figure this stuff out . What has happened previous birthdays ?