Court and childcare

[Debra1981]

Hi all, this is all hypothetical as I haven't had notification that we are going to court at all re. child contact with DD now aged 13 months, but I am expecting it fairly soon. Not sure what to expect but not too stressed as I know there's not much I can do to prevent it. (I'm pee'd off that he wants more contact when he keeps defaulting on the arranged visits anyway and not turning up). Anyway, my question is where do you send such a young child for a one-off full day. She's only really been looked after by my mum apart from me but she may not be able to get time off work to care for her if I have to go to court. Not sure what sort of place would accept a child on such an ad hoc basis, nor what she would get on with, but I think I should take her to get used to wherever before I have to leave her there on the day. Luckily she's not too shy, but she does get a bit uncomfortable in unfamiliar surroundings.

sounds like it would be better for your daughter to see him at a contact centre, I doubt though that he will get more visitation rights if he keeps defaulting on the arranged ones, make sure you inform the courts of this, good luck.

A childminder with a vacancy might be ok with having her everynow and then, it might be worth calling a few.

If you go to court it is likely that the court will first instruct a rep from cafcas to visit you at home and your ex at home. This could take weeks. So if you have to return to court, then you may have enough notice for your mum to book a day off. Do you have any other family or friends that your child would be happy with for the day or could someone come with you and look after your child whilst you are in the court. I think it is unlikey that a hearing would take all day, more like an hour. Otherwise a childminder may be happy to take her for the time.

Good luck

Also, if your ex has been messing you around with the arranged visits, I find it hard to believe the court will grant him more access until he proves he can stick to your arrangement. Make sure you let your solicitor know all of this.

Hi all, contact is currently 2 hours a week at a contact centre, agreed through solicitors, because he was drunk and violent to me in front of LO previously. This week he couldn't make the 2 mile journey because his mum's car had broken down and he wanted to wait for the RAC man with her (she's not exactly frail and vulnerable, and there are frequent buses along that route). My sis would probably help if she could, but she lives an hour and a half away and has 2 school-aged ds's to juggle. Dd's acquainted with a couple of the neighbours, but I'm reluctant to ask them as again they have their own families to look after, and I sometimes wonder if they've just befriended me out of pity for my single-mom situation. And my old friends are all career girls now, DD doesn't even really know them. What I mean is I don't like leaning on others! The reason I think court is imminent is that I got an invitation to mediation from his solicitor, saying if I decline (which I did)they will start court proceedings to progress the contact. Given that he refuses to speak to me at all at the contact centre I sincerely doubt he intended to go for mediation anyway.

Hi when i was going through the contact stuff court dates were usually about 12 weeks apart so you should have plenty of time to find care for your dd.
From my experence and others it doesnt matter how much the father defaults on arrangments or what he does or doesnt do the courts and cafcass beleave that any father is better than no father so he can do whatever he wants and it wont matter how this affects your dd.