Growing up sucks

[LCC333]

So, this is my first post, hello.... I’m a mother of 2.

Basically, my issue is that I’ve found myself to be quite lost (that’s an oxymoron and a half). I feel like I’ve spent all this time focusing on raising my kids that I now am at a stage where they want more independence and have their own little clubs and things to be doing and I’m just sat waiting.... sort’ve hoping they’ll need me for something?! This sounds crazy lol because I remember when I would’ve given my right arm to have gotten 5 minutes peace but now I have it, I don’t like it lol. This begs the question.... are we ever REALLY happy?

The kids have gone with their grandmother now and won’t be back until Sunday evening. I’m sitting here, completely lost. Tried putting on a movie and lost interest ... then cried a little , which I know is silly (lol) and now I’m sitting writing this. I guess what I’m really asking is.... how to have a life that is just for me? It’s like, somewhere along the way, I forgot that I wasn’t just a mother, that I was also ...me? Hopefully someone gets what I mean.

Thanks

No experiences to share here as mine are still little (to be frank the existential crisis I had the first time they were at school and nursery at the same time and I was left alone was bad enough!). But I wanted to post and bump this because I'm sure you're not alone and someone wise will come along with some ideas!

Is there anyone you can ring and arrange a cuppa with.

Usual suggestions swim. Cinema wonder around the shops. I know the feeling you look forward to some free time and when it happens you don't feel like doing anything.

I started volunteering when the kids go to their dads. Fills the time
And gives me a sense of purpose.

Go buy some nice food and just get through this evening

Aww thankyou very much. Think I was very emotional last night when they went, although I do have the same issue.

Mines are still only 9 and 10 so I know we have plenty of time but it’s just like they are at a new stage again. They are wanting/needing to do their own things and it’s just new as I’m so used to doing everything for them as it’s always just been us three. So when they are away I’m like... what do I do now???

So, today ....I’ve decided to embrace it, I’ve had a little cry lastnight, had a mighty sleep and so today I’m just lazing about and gunna watch some tv. Tomorrow I’m meeting up with new friends so it’s not all bad. I think that we become so engrossed in being a mother that we do forget how to be anything other. So for now... I’m figuring out how to be me

Wish me luck lol

Good luck! Now's the time to do something epic for you...

...although I don't know what it says about me that when the time comes I'm thinking craft club and an unlimited cinema card. I think I have to up my game!

Thankyou lol. Yeah, its time I think

Craft is AMAZING and has been my saving grace I think, although there isn't much in the way of crafting clubs here for actual person to person interaction . Polymer clay, needle felting and drawing have been my coping mechanisms. Ive even looked into yoga class...I am so NOT a yoga person lol but I'm considering giving it a go this coming week.

This is a good opportunity to be a bit selfish for once and figure out who you are again. The best thing to do for weekends like this is to make your plans in advance so then you won't be spending your precious alone time deciding what to do.

Make a list of the types of things you like doing now or would like to do. Don't filter it. You could start with the easy stuff like catching up with friends, going to the cinema etc. Then add extra things that might stretch you out of your comfort zone a little. It could be learning something new, joining a club, volunteering etc. Do some googling and find out what's going on in your town on the days you are free and note those down as options. Push yourself to get out of the house and try something new.

Have fun!