Nrp didn't not show up for eow and is uncontactable.

[eve34]

Ex has eow contact with dc. My eldest went non contact at the end of last year and he has made little effort with them since

Youngest is 7. And adores dad. I have no problem with that. He was a no show for his last weekend and did not reply to message. Phone call or email. I also messaged his girlfriend. Who also didn't reply.

Dc was upset and worried and confused. It has been 18 months since he left and eow has been the routine. I reassured as best I could. But am at a loss as to what to say.

I will message prior to next contact and say if I get no response I will assume he isn't coming and let dc know.

How do I handle this moving forward. What do I tell dc. They both know the routine and ask questions.

He is alive and not incapacitated in anyway. He is just ignoring me. Which previously we have communicated about contact as necessary.

I would be bloody furious.

However if you definitely know he is ok . I would message and tell him he needs to contact you before further contact takes place. At this is no point you don’t know why he hasn’t turned up . Could be something serious so hang fire at this point

@Starlight456 thank you for the reply. No nothing serious has happened but I just can't figure at not turning up and not responding to messages.

I'm not going to contact again. I messaged several times over the weekend both him and gf and an e mail. I will wait until next eow. And day before say if I don't hear otherwise I will assume you are not coming and take the kids away.

I have no idea what's going on. But he or gf could send me a message. Just saying sorry can't make it this weekend. I don't ask any questions and have told him I'm not interested in what he gets up too. So he knows I wouldn't challenge him or ask questions. 🤷‍♀️

Absolutely you and his Ds at least deserve a message . Can you imagine if we just disappeared who would have the kids

Shameless bump. Still nothing. I don't know what to tell the children. There is end of year stuff dc wants him there. And coming up to his eow. And I'm getting nothing.

If you have a court order, you can’t not make them available at the agreed time, even if you hear nothing. Or say that you will not be making them available. Fine to disappear after the time though! If no court order, I reckon I still wouldn’t flag that I was making alternative arrangements, just might not be there. But you then run the risk of being taken to court...

Are there any other members of his family that you could speak to?

I would send an email detailing what the children would like him to attended that unless you hear from him that you'll presume he's not going and that his contact is also not going to happen.
Mention that the children are confused and reiterate that you're only contacting him because of the children, then leave it.

I would be honest and say “ you have been unable to contact Dad but will let you know as soon as you do”

Thank you for responses. No. No court order and I would not make the children unavailable at all. What I don't want is my children. Sat here on a Saturday morning asking. Me every 2 mins is dad coming. When is dad coming ring him. Is he on his way. Etc

He is no contact with his family.

I have his girl friends number. But she doesn't respond either.

I still have a few days.

Has he contacted you op?

Thank you for asking

I went and knocked on his door the other day and told him it was not acceptable to be uncontactable. And to turn up This weekend

So he did. He was 2.5 hours late though.

See how next few weeks go.

Did he give any explanation for his appalling behaviour?

@Starlight456 apparently he couldn't leave the flat. I don't doubt he is struggling with his mental well being. But life goes on and if he can go out with friends etc then he can bloody well fake it to see the children. Even if he can only do it for a few hours.

Unlike me I had no choice to opting out of parenting. And wouldn't even cross my mind too You just have to get on with it

I don't know if it will happen again. At least I can tell the children I did all I could.

Not being able to leave the flat doesn't mean he can't message you or e mail you. My guess is he is being a dick.

@Apolloanddaphne Yes I agree. I'm sure you are right.

Why are you involving the GF? Surely this is between you and Ex?

It's disappointing for DS and if he's done EOW before then this seems a bit out of the blue. Have you had an altercations lately that could have caused an issue?

@Butterflyone1

I only text the gf as I had text Called e mailed and sent a message on messenger and to an I cloud account. To him And got no reply. Beside she was happy to communicate with me when I lent them money.

He has had eow contact for the past 2 years. And has previously communicated each time about times and pick up.

Other than not paying back the money I lent them. I have no dealings with him other than contact/pick up. And he had been and collected/dropped off the previous eow regardless of them not returning the money I lent them.

I have not been abusive/difficult/obstructive in anyway. I encourage and support the contact with the children as I want them to have a positive relationship with him. He is their father. When my child is sat waiting with their bag packed waiting to go I have every right to know if he is not turning up so I can explain that to the children.