Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

To go for maintainance, or not?

6 replies

OhMyDarling · 03/07/2019 07:10

Hi
Youngest DD’s dad has never paid a penny.
He kicked us out when she was 11 months after we had been together 5yrs, she’s now nearly 15. Looking to go to uni eventually, so will be a dependant for ages yet.

Money is getting tight, I’ve never sought money from him as about a year before we split (incl when I was pregnant) he started drinking a lot, spent every night in the dodgy local, got involved with drugs and was violent towards me.
I was already pregnant so no judgey mcjudgeness please. I didn’t leave as I was too scared and I told myself he would change when the baby arrived. He didn’t- he got worse and even started dealing.
My word fell apart.

Anyway, in many ways I’m still recovering but have never sought maintenance as I thought he would turn up, try to take DD or at the very least demand contact whereby she would be court ordered to be forced to spend every other weekend there, he would be in and out of her life, would make my life miserable- I was scared of him and him putting our DD in danger.

Ends aren’t meeting at the end of the month. She’s never shown any interest in him. His total lack of contact would now work in my favour (I am in contact with his mum but she’s got ‘my son is the golden one and nothing is ever his fault’ syndrome).

Should I go for child maintainance now??

He has no other children, and earns about £350 a week before tax. A little bird told me.

OP posts:
OhEliza · 03/07/2019 07:30

Why on earth wouldn't you? He has a daughter, he should have been providing for her for the last 15 years. Now it sounds like he can, he must.

Starlight456 · 03/07/2019 07:49

If you want to do it . At 15 if she doesn’t want to see him no court will make her.

I didn’t claim maintenance from my ex till her tried to get contact for the same reason

Justathinslice · 03/07/2019 07:53

Well, yes!

sue51 · 03/07/2019 13:05

Contact cms today.

OhMyDarling · 03/07/2019 23:31

Does anyone have experience of doing this and it all going wrong?
DD has her exams next gear, last thing I want to do is drag up the skeletons, send her into emotional freefall and ruin her exams/life if he turns up raging on our doorstep.

OP posts:
Moondancer73 · 04/07/2019 10:50

Yes, yes and yes! There is no reason on earth why he shouldn't pay for his daughter. Ring the cms today.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page