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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Feeling alone

7 replies

NonTraditionalFeelings · 30/06/2019 23:42

Bit of a pity party. I divorced 3 years ago and have 3 children aged 5, 8 and 10. Up until the last few months I've been relatively ok. I have a few friends I choose to spend time with and that's ok. But recently the friends all seem busy, and rarely factor me in. I asked one friend what she was doing on Saturday with the nice weather and she said she was off to the pub to sit in the beer garden, I wished her well and went back to sitting on my own.

I'm still single. I've had a couple of dates and a couple of failed dating/relationships since the divorce. For the past few months I've felt like I'm sinking. I work full time, have very little down time and by time kids go to bed and I've sorted their next day stuff it's 10pm. I can't get on top of the house, between work, kids, more work in evenings I barely have time to relax let alone sort the washing, put it away etc.

I mentioned this to my mum earlier and she said she could help and would put some washing away for me, during the week...if I paid her £80 a month 😔 I already pay her to have the kids two nights a week for me. I just feel heartbroken that the only way I can get people to help me is if I pay them, even my own mum.

I'm also doing a house extension and my builder has done a number on me. He currently owes me around £5k and no longer turns up, it's costing me another £8k with a different builder to get it finished. I'm putting myself into debt to do it and my mum knows all this.

I guess I just feel so completely alone and don't know how to stop myself sinking even further.

OP posts:
nakedscientist · 30/06/2019 23:47

Just sending hugs and Thanks until you get some proper advice.

Needybetsy · 30/06/2019 23:50

I think it's just a temporary slump. Tell one of your mates. Just be honest. Your mum also needs a telling off. Big time. Don't be hard on yourself. Look what you're achieving on your own! You're amazing!! It feels like a grind. Just do 15 minutes a day of sorting. Settle down with a book or film. Relax. Do one thing a week for yourself. A class where you can meet new people. Pay a babysitter. Not your mum. Do it after you've sorted out your extension. You've got this!

disneyspendingmoney · 01/07/2019 07:45

It is only temporary and it us a grind, the routine if getting everything sorted for everyone else is hard work, but things do change and sort themselves out.

I don't have any family help, but I really do get the resentment that your mum asking for cash would bring, you've been a lot nicer than I would be.

On top of a builder messing you about, I really get why you feel a bit low, but just think how nice things will be once the extension is done and you gave a but more space.

I'd suggest pace yourself ,the debts will be paid off in time, the DC's will grow and become more responsible and things will get a but easier

eve34 · 01/07/2019 10:47

This's too shall pass but that doesn't help you now. I'm sorry your mum wanting paying to help. That is a low blow.

Have you looked into single parent groups. Although I don't actually meet up with anyone. It is good to have the group for support. I'm part of two on Facebook. If your in Hampshire I am in the market for making new friends.

It doesn't help but as the kids get older it gets easier. Hang in there.

NonTraditionalFeelings · 01/07/2019 22:38

Thanks everyone. feeling a little better today. Reached out to a couple of friends and they've both offered to help, even saying they will take washing for me. Simple things but has made me feel far less alone. You guys were a bit of a lifeline last night too so thank you xx

OP posts:
Needybetsy · 02/07/2019 21:57

So pleased! Keep at it! Shout out if you want a moan. :-)

Aw12345 · 02/07/2019 22:01

No advice to offer but just want to say that you sound like an amazing mum working very hard to do everything possible for your kids 🙂 when they're older they'll look back and know their mum loved them so much and always put them first 🙂

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