Am I mean not to give DD her pocket money for holiday?

[loseitnotlooseit]

I give DD15 pocket money of £40 a month.

While talking to her dad (ex) last week about their holiday in 10 days, he was talking about he has been keeping his pocket money for her until the holiday. He mentioned how she will have x amount by the time she goes. I was at work and only half listening, but I now realise he was also counting the PM I give her.

If she spends all of that, she won't have any money for the rest of the month when she returns from holiday, and it will be down to me to either sub her, or feel like the bad guy when she can't afford to go out with friends.

AIBU not to give her her pocket money until she gets back from holiday? E.g give her £10 PM for this week at home, give her a specific £15-20 for her time away, and keep the other £30 PM for when she gets back. I already give double the PM she gets at dads and the CM I receive isn't exactly mind blowing.

Technically it's her money, but I don't think he should have assumed I was happy for her to have it all for one week away, especially as I doubt he pointed out that means no money the rest of the month.

Thoughts?

If she was younger I’d say YWNU, but at 15 I think she can understand the budget implications and decide for herself whether to hold some back. I agree with you that your ex is being a tad presumptuous though.

Thanks @ColdTattyWaitingForSummer

I know you're right in theory, but in practice, she likely won't. I know that and ex knows that and I feel he should have considered that before deciding her budget.

I'll need to give it some more thought and come to a compromise with DD.

It's a holiday! If you think she will use what you've described doing as a future lesson it will not happen.
Your exh is cheeky but I'm guessing your dd has told him and added your PM when talking about her holiday money.
At 15 years old I know you want to teach her and save but sometimes you just have to let them enjoy the moment.

At 15 you need to talk to her about it surely? It’s a good chance for her to learn the importance of budgeting

I would give mine extra for their holiday.

sorry can't quite work out if you are intending to give her any extra this month? If you're intending to give her an extra bit then I'd hold that back until after she gets back from holiday to use for the rest of the month as a treat. When you give her the normal amount remind her that's for the month and if she spends it all on her holiday then it's gone.

I give extra for holidays - it’s not pocket money it’s spending money. Give her £40 for holiday spending and £40 when she gets back .

If you cant afford tongive extra i would give her the lot but tell her that's it .

Cant you talk to her about it? She's 15!

She’s 15, I’m sure if you tell her the situation she can make her own decisions on whether to spend the money or not

My son has just gone on a week’s holiday (not with his family) and I gave him £200, which is extra to his pocket money. If he’d gone with me, as I would most likely have bought him the odd thing anyway, I’d have given him more like £50.

If she spends all of that, she won't have any money for the rest of the month when she returns from holiday, and it will be down to me to either sub her, or feel like the bad guy when she can't afford to go out with friends.

If you just let this happen she'll learn an important lesson. Otherwise she won't. Your choice. Don't rescue her from her choices, she's almost an adult.

I understand what you are all saying.

I was going to give her a small additional amount for holiday.

I guess I'm just annoyed at her dad as it feels like he has decided on something else I'm subsidising. I provided the vast majority of spending money for the last school trip, all all clothes and toiletries for it, and I'll be paying for most of the school uniform, apart from maybe school bag, most likely. And if I know ex, he'll have her paying for every single juice/ice lolly she consumes while away. And he has known for ages how much PM I give her. It was him who calculated the amount to include her pocket money.

Thankfully, she is on the lookout for a job, so fingers crossed. Then if the pocket money is spent, on top of the rest, she'll hopefully have a back up soon enough.

Thanks.

At 15 I knew the implications of spending my money all at once.

It seems like you're just being spiteful tbh..