Anyone else's ex quit job to stop paying CM?

[sewala]

Just that. That's how desperate he is to not send money, even though he has absolute pots of it hidden all over the place. So he'll be alright, he can prob live without an income for a while. But the DC can't. How do they get away with this?

I've heard of this 100 times over. It's disgusting! My ex has thought of the idea about becoming self employed and I'm 100% sure it's solely focused on not giving me a penny to raise our children. They are the ones clearly with the issues. Just be pleased you're not them 😃

I'm sure crap dads share tips among themselves so they know all the tricks and loopholes and CMS are crap and have no real authority anyway.
If he was broke any way or in a low paid job I could understand, but he is literally shoving his wealth in our faces, which his own flesh and blood cannot touch. It's abuse.

My daughter’s father paid one lot of Child Maintenance which was a week late then requested a change of address. Child maintenance told me they sent him the form but never recieved it back. That was 5 years ago and they still can’t get in contact with him, nor did they receive the form, and I haven’t had a penny from him. He immigrated to a different country now and I haven’t heard anything to this day. I had to get child maintenance involved in the first place because he refused to give me any money for her and told me to ask my own parents for money. He was abusive to me, violently and emotionally and then neglected me and his child.

Yep mine did. 12 years ago. Not had anything. Wanker. Boils my blood that they get away with it.

They all do this. I once tried to join a FB group for PWCs but the title was misleading and it was for NRPs. Anyway, my blood was literally boiling after reading a few of the posts. Re. The self employment thing, they were all congratulating themselves on how little they had to pay and recommending the best accountants to play the system so to speak. I was practically screaming at my computer ‘THESE ARE YOUR KIDS!!!!’ And the names they called their ex’s. And it was even worse when they new girlfriends got involved because of course it’s never going to happen to them. He’s a right catch!

Rant over!

Yup have probably received less than £100 during the past 13 years. He used to hop from job to job, so they couldn't keep up with it. Then he quit his job and refused to sign on to avoid paying. He now only does cash in hand jobs to avoid it.

The last time I confronted him about paying maintenance and supporting his child financially he said, 'that's what you are for!'

My ex did in the past had a good job didnt want to pay 286 a month. Went self employed (sub contract). Got a new job paid £38 a week then stopped paying. Has a child and one on the way. The debt is now under a liability order they wanted 166 a week he said they can f off hes not paying that said he will be forced to leave his job. I was happy to make an arrangement so gonna see if it pans out.

Had a new child and one in the way that should say

Aye, here too. Fucker found every loophole going until I gave up.

DS1 is 12 now, and not once has his so called father contributed anything. Not even clothes and a toothbrush for at his house! (Long story, court ordered blah blah).

One day he'll have to look his son in the eye and explain why.

This is awful!

I don't understand how men can feel so coldly towards their own children. In some instances even leaving the country! Bloody hell!

If the father doesn't contribute financially does he still have a right to see his children?

Morgan, unfortunately contact & finances are separate issues. Ex has a contact order but contact still has to go ahead whether he pays or not. Bloody disgusting. If he's so poor (he's not) I want to know how he can afford to run (an expensive) car, petrol for handovers, buy them food and entertain them.
I think they genuinely think that mums are living it up on CM, because they can't conceive that kids actually cost bloody (lots of) money to raise.

Yep. He worked off the cards I think so I wAs was only getting £5 a week from CSA, and I only started getting that was when she was 18 years old! Before that we received a grand total of nothing!

Were not all the same,

I pay 751 pounds a month in csa for two children ,
Who I don't see because their mother wants her new partner in their life and not me ,
I'm going to court to get access but she has alienated my kids against me after 9 months of not seeing them as shes made abuse accusations which has instantly given her the right to keep me at arms length while she further manipulates my kids ,
I am left with 259 pounds a month disposable income and still dont begrudge them what they should have ,
But some mothers manipulate the system to their advantage .
It gets worse as if shes found guilty of alienating me , I'll get custody of two boys who currently dont want to see me ,
Moral is , think of the kids on both sides , pay csa ,
Do your duty , and allow access within reason

So, the shoe is on the other foot here. Why do mother's not have to pay CM? The child lives with me (dad) now full time. No contact with mother since she alienated herself from DD with abusive remarks towards DD and so much more. Her latest words are im moving on with my life now. How can mother's be so cold hearted when it comes to a child.

If the mother is the NRP they have to pay CM and you can go to the CMS to get a maintenance order.

I have,looks as shes quit her job in order to avoid paying it

I can relate to how you’re all feeling, but just remember, one day your kids will be adults and they will know who was there for them and who wasn’t.

The deadbeat dads (and mums) may be smug when they’re getting away with not providing financially for their kids, and think they’re ‘getting one over’ on the parents with care, but they don’t seem quite so smug when suddenly their kids have grown and see them for what they really are.

The trouble is these deadbeats usually don’t bother with the kids either so don’t care that the kids aren’t interested in them as they are not interested either 😒

My dad left work and went to uni (a vanity project for him) purely to avoid paying anything. 45 years ago... so this sort of thing has been going on a while.

Court made him pay my mum £5 per month as a "token" gesture. That was £1.25 pm each... did not go far, even then.

Dead now, none of us went to the funeral. You reap what you sow.

In some cases yes, but I think in many cases the deadbeats often want to involve themselves in their adult dc’s lives (even though they didn’t bother with them when they were younger), but by then the damage is done and they realise that they have only themselves to blame.

Can't you go to CMS too?