Exh's failure to get emergency medical treatment for DS

[putastrawunderbaby]

My Exh dropped our son back after having him for the weekend, saying DS had been in pain since Saturday, to the point he didn't sleep during the night. Exh didn't seek out any medical help for him, just gave him one dose of calpol. As soon as Exh left, I took DS straight to the out of hours GP and long story short DS was admitted to hospital and had an operation 2 days later. He's now off school for 6 weeks. If the condition had been left, it had the potential to become very serious. Obviously this has rocked my confidence in Exh, who works in a medical role and should have realised the severity of the situation imho. As a lay person it was obvious DS needed to be seen urgently, and he's not a complaining child. My question is how to proceed from here? I don't trust Exh an inch now. How can I stop this from happening again?

Did you ensure this was all documented in the medical notes?
What is ex's response to developments?

I’d hang fire on condemning your ex just yet unless this is one of example of many. I have known many doctors who have delayed seeking treatment for their kids because of a sort blasé attitude. If the op was only two days later then it wasn’t particularly an emergency emergency op. The surgeons obviously felt they could watch and wait.

I’ve waffled a bit but in essence anyone can make this mistake. More importantly how has your ex responded to his son being ill?

I agree it was the blase attitude common to some professionals who work with severe medical needs, but a child in a lot of pain, imho is not something you ignore.

I am the daughter of a doctor. They do tend to brush off even quite severe pain.
I wouldn't get any attention unless my leg actually dropped off.

It's al too easy for any parent to ignore a child's cries of pain as over reacting etc. I wouldn't be too harsh on your ex.

Likewise child of a medical parent who several times in my childhood dismissed my ailments which subsequently were diagnosed/ treated. The GP in one case said the exact thing happened with her child where she didn't think it was anything much but it turned out to be the same thing that had ( requiring surgery)

Doesn't mean you as the other parent aren't cross about it.

I wouldn’t be too harsh on the Ex, it could be a genuine mistake.

My OH has 2 kids. In the mother’s care one was dropped down the stairs and suffered a head injury. Last year the daughter broke her arm and the first dad heard about it was a day later when a picture was posted in a parents WhatsApp group.

My OH didn’t go in all guns blazing as it would inflame an already delicate relationship.

All you can do is monitor the situation.

My ex BF's dad was a doctor and years ago when he was a young teenager he complained of stomach pains etc. His dad sent him to bed and did take it very seriously and his Appendix burst.

I wouldn't be too harsh on ex h unless you very genuinely think there's something sinister going on.

Yeah, I wouldn't blame your Ex-H, tbh. As a pp says, 2 days after admission is not emergency. That's not to say that you're wrong to feel for your DS, but children can be hard to read, especially if you know them.

My son was in pain for a week once but always started at bedtime. Was better in the day . He got admitted to hospital and was in surgery within 24 hours .

I took him into school and spoke to his teacher she had her child with a broken bone for a weekend .

Point been I am sure he feels guilty but it happens unless there is more than a one off incident you need to find a way to move forward

Ds 7 at the time, fell off the climbing frame in the garden, had a cry and carried on playing. Came in played on the PlayStation all evening. I dropped him at his dads the following day. 4 hours later dad phoned to say he was popping him to A&E as ds was complaining about the pain- he’d broken it! I was devastated.

2 years later out with dad and his family (including a doctor and physio), ds fell and said he’d broken his arm. You haven’t they all said. 6 hours later he was walking out of hospital with a cast on his broken arm.

It happens OP, more frequently than you’d realise. Hope your ds is on the mend.