So fed up of being in charge of everything

[Relightmyfirepit]

Just really what the title says. I’m really sick up to my back teeth of being in charge of every single iota that needs done.
I have no help at all and sometimes it’s just too overwhelming. Most of the time I can manage but I’ve been feeling really low the last week or too. Can’t stop crying

I hear you .

The mental load is overwhelming isn't it, and for me its just snowballe. I'd love to achieve something or have a good tidy up but my day is punctuated by meals, basic chores and reffereeing arguments. They're 12 and 10 and not exactly willing to do anything.

I don't know what the answer is though. Short of withholding food to get my dc's to buck their ideas up.

Try looking at it the other way round, OP. Isn’t it great to be in charge of your life, nobody telling you what to do, arguing over the household budget or what colour to paint the bedroom? Nobody disagreeing with your choice of holiday destination, or fighting over the tv remote?
There are lots of women in abusive or unhappy marriages who would love to be in your shoes. Women who don’t feel safe or comfortable in their own homes.
I do sympathise - I was widowed with two babies in nappies, and have been a single parent for 27 years. But it gradually got easier, and now the kids are grown up and I’m retired and life is pretty good. I’m grabbing all the “me time” that I never had, enjoying hobbies and travels and visiting my kids in their own homes. You too will get through it and come out stronger. Chin up!

Thank you to both of you for replying. Yes ,the mental load is totally overwhelming. Most of the time I just about manage but sometimes I just want someone else to decide what’s for dinner or do the drop offs etc.
I understand where you are coming from babdoc . There’s always someone worse off and to the outside world I probably look as though I have a nice life . I’m on my own because my dh died 2 years ago and I can’t help being bitter that this wasn’t the life I envisioned and I’m really not a bitter person.
I have been stronger since he died but I think I’m just going through a rough patch at the minute