Parenting when you feel low

[Misty9]

I'm newly separated and struggling a bit. But what do you do with the kids when you're feeling low? We're all hanging out in the front room with some crappy daytime tv prog on but I feel like a rubbish mum and am barely keeping them fed today

What do you do with your dc (under 10) when you feel low?

OP I do exactly what you do with the addition of comfort food (or junk food) I have a draw in the freezer with fast simple stuffI know they like so I don't have to think. It's also given me the opportunity to teach them simple cooking standing by the cooker watching one of them fry or scramble eggs for example.

I also try to encourage drawing and colouring and sit with my two asking about what they are drawing.

At times it's felt so hard but you get into routines

Don't be hard on yourself. Tv and snacks for a day won't do any harm.
Are they all at school tomorrow and have you got things ready?

They don't really like any easy freezer food but I had leftovers to give them luckily. Yes they're back at school tomorrow and I need to get their school bags from H I've just realised. It's so shit that they have to live between two homes

They picked up on my mood and were pretty good at occupying themselves this afternoon. I feel like I'm failing at everything right now.

We have all been there. In my previous life we use to go out in day trips and adventures. Last year when ex left we kept it very low key. I just didn't have the energy. But I'm slowly getting there. Just do what you can when you can. That doesn't make you a bad mum. Just human

Sometimes I would Deliveroo a KFC or a chicken shack, I'd stand in front of cupboards, fridge and freezer with a blank mind unable to work out what to do.

Never be hard on yourself, your in a really tough work place.

Even with my 13yo I've found handing out a piece of paper and some colouring pens and going "Do me an OC and tell me about it" and I can sit there at the table going "really,ok,really, that's interesting, ok" with my brain 90% switched off.

Remind yourself that a generation ago, children just had to put up with entertaining themselves/crap TV, playing together without much interaction from parents - it's just a modern thing that we think we need to pay them attention every second of every day, and feed them balanced, organic meals at every single mealtime. Surely 80% is good enough, teaches them self-sufficiency & Resilience.

(I realise this isn't technically true of your 1 year old, as that is quite young, but hopefully you get my gist)

This is what I tell myself when I feel like I'm failing. The fact that you are aware of it and concerned is a great start as it suggests your'e not like this the majority of the time. chin up. They'll be older soon enough and it will be easier