Family Law

[Lawsrox12]

Hello
Just looking for some advice.
I currently have a contact order in place for my ex to see 8 year old daughter, however last year he remarried and brought a new house with his wife, which was fine until at Christmas he didn't want his consent order time with my daughter because him and his wife wanted their first Christmas in the house alone.
Since then my daughter has been refusing to go and crying, shaking, iv encouraged her to go still but when she does I find pictures she has drawn of her at the house crying with my ex and his wife in the background shouting at her.
My ex has repeatedly said don't force her to come and made the decision not to collect her, so I think as a result she has not had overnight contact for 4 months and probably two visits (he has cancelled some contact time to take the wife away, daughter wasn't invited) during that time.
So to the present he wanted her to see him last Sunday and she refused to go, next thing he is telling me I have to go to mediation and pay £150 or he is taking me to court.
Iv emailed him asking to meet me and our daughter to try and resolve it or meet with the school (the school are aware of daughters issues with dad as I contacted them to help them try and resolve it), he is refusing to do any thing but mediation so he can speed up the court process.
My questions are, I'm 27 weeks pregnant and as a result can't sleep have been having panic attacks and am walking around on anxious nerves, I'm worried this will have a negative impact on the baby, can I delay mediation until the baby is here.
Also I can not afford mediation so if delayed I can try and save to go. I also have tried every other means possible to help him resolve his issues with our daughter, however he will not comply with anything other than what he wants and what is best for him.
Again I have never stopped his contact it's only him that has so how can he take me to court for this? Iv always made sure daughter was available he has refused to force her have Contact.
Any advice would be much appreciated.
Thank you

How do you communicate with him? If by text/email you have proof that HE has declined contact, which won't look good on him in court.

It might be worth investing in some family mediation/guidance to see if your daughter and ex can work things out. She's got a lot going on at the moment - new step mum, new sibling soon, she needs both of your support right now, not to be 'blamed' for dragging you both to court.

It's tough OP, hope you can find a child-focused solution x

Hello thank you for your reply
Always by email, he kept telling our daughter lies about myself so I like to have proof of every conversation we have now.
So that when he lies to her theres evidence of what has been said.
I am happy to go to mediation, but as a last resort as I don't have the money he has hence why I suggested we meet with our daughter or through the school as they offered free mediation, he just is refusing any other forms of reconciliation other than mediation so he can get a court order. I just don't understand how he can accuse me of Contempt when I have evidence of him saying if she doesn't want to go he won't force her and cancelling on many occasions. Our daughter is definitely not to blame, its his attitude towards her since he moved in with his wife that has changed and really upset our daughter. He used to be a brilliant dad and now will only do the bare minimum as he is getting in trouble with the new wife.

I would be saying to him to pay for it himself as you have said he cant go to court without mediation first. I would also say you have facilitated contact wherever possible and he has chosen on occasions when he doesnt want contact hence why your daughter is now like this. Let him know (im sure he already does) that your daughter is finding all this too traumatic and you both need to do whats best for her. I can see your trying to it seems as if he wants to pick and choose when he has her, esp if he has something going on with his new wife. Nothing other than an emergency should stop contact! Its not fair your your little girl 😔

if you're in receipt of benefits or tax credits you can apply for legal aid for mediation (not legal representation in court though) so you could get your mediation free, they want to encourage people to go there and sort everything without going to court