I feel like I'm failing at being a mum right now :(

[Lillycake]

I have posted a few times so I'm so sorry if you have read my posts before now. I found posting here gave me so much comfort - lots of kind messages and words of support - I'm for the same today.
When my husband left I decided to go back to school. I chose nursing as the nhs helped with the uni fees and I got a bursary.
I struggled throughout with childcare but once I was in there was no turning back. My 3 dd's were proud of me, everytime I struggled with assignments but passed them. Every placement I struggled through but did it. Every obstacle and every challenge. I felt I was being a role model, even though it was all impacting on my own mental health. However....right now I feel like I am failing them. I absolutely hate working in mental health. I now suffer with anxiety and didn't before studying. I can't sleep at night as I get terrible head rushes, like my mind can't slow down. I'm struggling to find a position suitable with childcare - I finished in March so no income right now. The pressure to work in mental health is immense as I would be letting my dd's down after struggling to gain the degree. If I could turn back time, I wouldn't have done it and then wouldn't feel this way.
I can't afford a national minimum wage job - I was hoping my degree would help.
I feel like I am failing right now. I applied for a job in a prison because it was 9-5 but i don't want the position. I want a happy job. Anyway - i got there and completely broke down. I made myself late and had mascara everywhere. I couldn't go in (i know im a let down). Still sat in the car as i type this.
I'm sorry if you have read my past posts but really don't have anyone to talk to.

I think you have done amazingly to gain a degree whilst raising 3 children all on your own. I'm really struggling with the thought of returning to work on monday with 2 ds's. I wrnt back after 9 and a half months with my first ds and will be doing the same this time but don't feel ready at all.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You will not be letting your children down. You gave it a good go and it wasn't for you. Lots of people change jobs all the time. Could you look to change and work as a nurse in a normal hospital rather than in mental health?

tiredmummyoftwoboys thankyou. Good luck for Monday - it's such a horrible feeling knowing you're not ready. Us mums just seem to get it done.
I specialised in mental health so would have to retrain for any other nursing. I couldn't possibly. I wouldn't want to.
I'm thinking I should take time out and work in a job to pay the bills and rethink. The thing is if you don't work in practice for so long, you lose your registration. I feel a lot of pressure.

Take a step back. You have a really useful degree. You can work with a number of vulnerable groups of people.

Cmht work office hours would that be a role you feel more suitable too.

Alternatively working for charities such as mind. Alzheimer's or Parkinson's. May offer advisory roles for families.

Be proud of what you have achieved. Mental health services are a mess right now. But you have other avenues to explore. Good luck

eve34 thankyou. I need to start a preceptorship programme in the first year and also need to revalidate after 3 years with 450 hours of practice. I rang the nmc and they explain I shouldn't worry too much at thus stage as I have 3 years. However employers will ask what have I been doing in the interim and it's lack of experience and being out of uni too long I worry about.
I actually looked at the charity mind lastnight, thankyou for that.
I just feel that mental health is quite heavy and I find being a single mum difficult at times and it all gets too much for me.

You have worked so hard to get qualified. You should be very proud. But if working in Nhs mental health isn't for you then do you need to be thinking about staying registered?

I'm not a nurse. I was social work trained. But never became a social worker. I work for a charity supporting families with. Terminal illness. I love the job. Have done it for 13 years now. Home based flexible hours around the kids. And pay is good with all the other peaks.

Your skills are very transferable. If you feel working in mental health isn't the path you want to take you have options.

eve34 thankyou. Sounds like you have a rewarding role, I'm glad it worked out for you. I have discovered a job on the mind website supporting families. The deadline was last week so too late to apply but knowing a job exists helps. It was a little less in salary and probably wouldn't go up like it does a nurse. I have to weigh it up. I'm not sure how to go about working in a position to stay registered. Do you know at all? I could email the nmc. I would like to stay registered as it gives me more choice when my dd's are older.

OP, if it’s a job you want then contact Mind anyway.
You never know who else applied, they might not have got any suitable candidates.
You have literally nothing to loose by checking.

I don’t do exactly what my degree was for. But the skills I gained open the doors along with having a degree.

So many companies are taking MH so much more seriously. Our health cover is now as good for MH as physical health. There are also lots of seminars, workshops, drop on sessions etc that are set up for all employees. These are run not only by big health providers but also small and in some cases 1 person companies.

Thought you might like to know if you are looking away from NHS and wondering who else might be interesting to work with using your skill set.

Why not apply for a part time mental health nurse post? Just 2 days a week? You might find after a while when you settle in your anxieties reduce. Remember also if you decide it’s not for you that is also something to be proud of, admitting defeat takes guts!

I agree with PP, just work a few days a week to start with and ease yourself in, once you find somewhere you love then you can increase your hours. I am not sure financially if you could do this but if you were surviving on a bursary I am sure you could make this work.

Prisons are crying out for nursing staff, it's not an awful environment for a Healthcare worker and as mainly run by private companies the money is usually ok.

All the best OP, be proud of what you have achieved so far!

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