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Manipulative ex in court

4 replies

KindOfABigDealOnTwitter · 14/05/2019 22:05

Hello. So, long story short, I have the final hearing over child contact order with manipulative ex very soon. He is very clever and always manages to stay under the radar, always an element of believability in his lies etc. He went on to our 3yo son’s ipad during contact with him and found my private photos and a few messages, which he is using against me (my bad - ipad now logged out of my icloud!). He has tried to make me look really bad in court, so I have had a social services section 7 report done on me which all seems fine. Kids are fine and happy despite me struggling since leaving him, especially with minimal maintenance even though he now claims he’s working. Anyway, some contact has been agreed already - half the school holidays and every other half term (ex is 500 miles away). But he has basically refused to take kids this coming half term, left me hanging for a straight answer, so I have had to arrange alternative childcare for them as I can’t take time off work and thought they were visiting him, as per the order. I contacted ex’s parents to say he has messed about (so they know it’s not me as ex has probably told them that). Ex’s dad replied saying ex has hospital operations that week but is unsure of dates.... so I’m worried that now he will be able to twist it in court in a couple of weeks and make out that I am the unreasonable one! Poor victim that he is with his trump card of illness (eyeroll).
So... how do I deal with this? Am I being unreasonable in the eyes of court for not waiting until the last minute for a straight answer from him about dates? If he’d have told me he was going into hospital I could have worked around it! Help please x

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poweroverme · 14/05/2019 23:36

Communication.
You are not a mind reader, unless he talk to you how are you to know what's going on. Plus hospital or not he should still manage childcare on his time, if your sick you would have to get help so why doesn't he?
Don't stress over the silly things, that's what he wants.

KindOfABigDealOnTwitter · 15/05/2019 08:26

Thank you @poweroverme
I guess if I show the court the texts, and that I had to text FIL to get a straight answer, that will back me up?

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MichelleStarek · 27/05/2019 11:51

Omg! I am dealing with similar situation. The ex is a pain, always the victim! And seems like everyone even social services fall for it. Now I am applying to court for permission to travel, as when I asked him in january about his plans for summer, he said I will let you know, now that I have already planned , he is opposing my plans!

KindOfABigDealOnTwitter · 28/05/2019 16:36

Ugh this is what I am dreading Michelle! Final hearing is tomorrow and I will flag my fears over holidays being an issue. He has the kids passports and is refusing to let me have them 🙄

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