Finding my feet 🦶 any tips

[FauxJoMalaux]

Hello,

Split from DH in January and looking for tips to help me adjust to being a single mum. It hasn’t been an easy spilt but that is posted over on relationships and the divorce/separation boards!

DH has DC every other weekend but I really want to make the most of the time when DC is with me.

DC is five and an only child and something I keep focussing on is whether she is bored just me and her :( I’ve been arranging play dates, we’ve done days out and pottering at home. All okay but I can’t help but feel sad for her. I can tell she misses her dad but she also misses me when with him so think it’s adjusting to the change. Any words of wisdom on this aspect?

Have any of you tried groups like Gingerbread?

I honestly didn’t want to be in the place I am (equally I didn’t want a husband that took us for granted either) but now I am here I want to try to embrace it and make the best of it.

I don’t have a lot of family support as I try to keep a distance; there has been lots of falling out and hurt in the past although I can put to the back of mind, it has ultimately damaged my relationships with my mum, step-dad and half siblings (I do not know my birth father so toying with starting a thread on that!) DC and I do sometimes see them but not very often and don’t live near them. I have a very small circle of friends (this is something I am conscious of - since having DC and/or getting married I have made conscious decisions to end three friendships that I thought were strong/important but changed a lot and just caused me over thinking and second guessing.

You can probably tell I am feeling super sensitive and lonely but am thinking of this as a foundation on which to build as life for me and DC.

So, any tips, experiences, books, Ted talks etc etc. that anyone can recommend?! Thanks for reading!

I'd like to know the answer to this too. I have 3 so a different set of challenges but I know that a slow day at home always ends up being more challenging than just going out and getting on with things.

My Ds is now 12.

Best things I have done . Signed up for beavers. Meant lots of male role models, gets the banter he doesn’t get with me , also enjoys himself and goes on camp.

Swimming . Going on holiday with a strong swimmer is much more relaxing.

I would say don’t overthink it . Time together is precious. It doesn’t have to be all dining and dancing. Do some baking, craft , let them play in their own though as important skills

I’m so sorry to hear about the break up.
I’ve been a single mum since my son was three weeks old so slightly different scenario but still extremely difficult!
I kept us (more so me) busy by going to the park, soft play, play groups etc as much as I could. I guess your daughter is at different age group so play groups not appropriate but see if there are any school meet ups during weekends, holidays, evenings?

Don’t beat yourself up about your daughter missing her dad, you are going through a difficult enough time as it is, just focus on getting through each day at a time.

Just enjoy being together. If she is at her dads every other weekend. Get big jobs done when she is there

My mum brought me up and I remember the most fun was being picked up from school and having picnics in the park.

I try to do stuff with my dc when they are here but also try to keep it simple. They got bikes for their birthdays. So I have had mine repaired so we can go out together. We cook together and watch box set with my eldest.

It took me a long time to not feel sad when I transitioned from one parent to the other. I still at nearly 50 cry when I leave my dad. Because it makes me sad. You just have to build a secure home and keep an open dialog with dc.