What would you do?

[Cakesandpie]

Long story short,
I separated with my ex when I was 11 weeks pregnant & I am now 17 weeks

In the 6 weeks we've been separated he continued his emotional abuse and trying to keep his control over me, harassment, hes now had a warning from police and blocked as they told me I need to do

During the relationship he became controlling & aggressive while I was pregnant which is why I ended it.

I won't be having anymore contact with him while I'm pregnant. It's caused me anxiety and I've been getting heart palpitations which is horrible

Now Im stuck on what to do after my baby is born..
I really don't want to face him directly as I know he will use it as a new way to get to me, upset me, try and control me. He has also threatened to take the baby.

Should I just grin and bare it, email him after the birth and arrange weekly contact in a public place, putting myself at risk of emotional abuse but try to be strong through it and ignore as much as I can, (easier said than done with emotions high & feeling vulnerable not long given birth?!)

Or have no contact with him whatsoever, claim Child Maintenance & wait for him to start up contact through the 'legal' channels where hopefully i wont have to see him directly (contact centre?)
Which I'm also not keen on as I don't want to appear like I have been unfair and tried to stop him as he will obviously turn everything onto me

What would you do if you were me? I'm stuck on what to do & I feel like these are my only 2 options

I was you OP. My child's father acted exactly as you have described. We cut all contact for two months of my pregnancy because of his abuse and harassment.

I went back to him at six months pregnant, probably out of fear of being alone and with the hope he'd change. I put him on the birth certificate, gave the baby his surname.

I wish I'd trusted my own judgement, I wish I'd trusted that how he behaved in pregnancy was a sign of things to come.

I can't advise what you should do, but I can tell you to trust your judgement and trust that you know how best to protect your baby. You don't need to put him on the birth certificate, you don't need to engage with him or meet him or send pictures. You have time to decide what's right for you because actions can't be undone.

Motherhood demands that you become a bear that protects her cub, you'll find all the loving ferocity inside of you.

My advice would be give yourself a break for now . Any threat to take baby keep and log them ,

Do not contact him until after babybis born. I would get b.c done first, give baby your surname.

Think about cms? While legally you are legally entitled to maintenance and you will be told on her contact and maintenance are not connected sometimes asking for maintenance can provoke wanting access. With my ex we were married so had pr anyway I only went to csa ( as it was as then) when I got court papers. It may be worth talking through with a solicitor options.

Also shut down , make sure private on s. Media.. consider mutual friends .