It's hard

[SparklesAndUnicorns]

I have an almost 3 year old and a 6 year old and I have just turned 26. I've been single since the children's dad left me when I was pregnant and he has little to no involvement since. I've been doing ok but I am just starting to get back into dating and I can't help but feel that once it gets to a certain point that men will just get bored of me due to being so unavailable. My dad will have them over night sometimes but I have found myself texting the children's dad begging him to have them more often. I feel so trapped. I sit at home every evening feeling worthless and lonely it's so hard. I love my kids to no end and would do anything for them but by the end of the day all I have been is 'mummy' I get a day a week where my youngest is in childcare all day but I work at midday anyway so it's only a few hours here and there and I usually try and fit in jobs that are easier done without kids around. I feel like my life is so boring and I have nothing to give in social situations anyway, it feels like I'm having some sort of early midlife crisis! I just need some reassurance that I'm not alone in this feeling and it gets better as they get older, I feel so lost right now and it's horrible. I want to be the best I can be for my children but I can't do it when I'm running on zero most days.

Sounds abit like me.
I have no time to myself. It's either mom me or work me. It's been this way nearly all of my sons life. I've dated a little but nothing lasted and it made me more deflated.
I now have comments about how it's time I got a man, but how will this happen in work or when I am a mom. I literally do not go out anywhere with friends or on my own.
I agree it's hard and am starting to accept this is probably my life. My DS makes my life so if its the case it wouldn't be the worst. But I don't do anything for me. Its all for my son and others.
I hope you are Ok xx

It definitely gets better. Although i’m Married now, I was a single parent for 9 years and I remember the boredom but I promise it won’t always be like that. Your kids are quite young too which also doesn’t help.

Hi I am a single dad with a 5 year old who I have full time, i work part time also. I Completely understand where you are coming from. It is just work, kid, work, kid, work, kid and at the end of the day when they go to bed your so tired your not in the mood for any socialising and then it's the same thing the next day and the same the day after that. It's really really hard and it is lonely. However I remind myself of how lucky I am to have such a beautifull child and of how much love I get from him, it makes it all worth while. I also tell myself that one day I will meet someone new but for the time being while he is still young and fully dependant on me this is just something I am going to have to deal with. But it is worth while. It is a very lonely situation to be inn, I feel the same at times but keep your head high enjoy your child/children and I'm sure in time you will meet someone :) you never know what is round the corner.

How is your social life? As a single/lone parent it can be helpful to find other mums in the same situation. You could take it in turns to watch each other's kids or to cook the kids their dinner? A mid week play date especially one with wine can break the week right up. And on weekends when you want to take the kids out for the day, it's lovely to have company too.

Do you take the 3 year old to any groups? Do both DCs do any activities? Some like brownies or scouts love parent volunteers which might open up new social opportunities for all of you.

Or could you join a gym (some have crèche for littlest) or sports club or choir or evening class?

Aww i understand. I was a single mum to my two children (now 3 and 5) for two years. It was tough and they had different fathers so as you can imagine its not the easiest to explain and for someone else to deal with. Ive now met someone amazing and hes so understanding and is amazing with my children. My ex had our daughter one day a week and my sons dad works away a lot so i didnt get a lot of time alone. I just made he most of the small bits of time i could get. Just get yourself out there and try things a little out of your comfort zone ☺️ it can be so lonely being a single mum once they are in bed.. i use to rely on my phone to pass the hours xx