Ex and handovers

[spaceyface89]

I posted recently about EA ex and his behaviour ramping things up before court.

I was really shaken up this evening. I came to pick DD up from tea with dad as in the court order. Since the order, I've beeped outside the house and he walks her out to the car. This has always been how we do things and makes me feel less vulnerable than going to his door.

This evening, I did this as normal. For 15 minutes he didn't come out. I phoned him and he said he won't return her unless I come to the door. I said this isn't how we do it.

Eventually his gf stormed out the house with DD shouting that id been making her distressed. She was absolutely fine. I told the GF it had nothing to do with her. I felt really intimidated with the two of them, against me, at their house. I know it sounds silly, but not having to come to their door is a big thing for me and I suffer from panic attacks after his behaviour.

I feel that he's done it really deliberately and to make some kind of case before court about emotional harm which doesn't even exist. I don't know how to approach this now, I'm really worried. Should I write to his solicitor?

Could you not tell your solicitor rather than his?

Speak to your solicitor.
Is there anyone who could come with you to pick up?

Thanks. I don't have one anymore. I've only just finished paying off the costs from my last solicitor and I just can't afford it.

Can you speak to Womens Aid?

Hi,

Thanks, I had considered Women's Aid. Do they assist with things like this?

The hardest part is that it's all so subtle and I sound mad explaining it to people, but it's the cumulative impact of his daily tactics that is really hard to bear.

They understand. They get it. They will give you advice.

May sound stupid but next time try to get it on record. You'll only need to show the evidence of them being so pathetic of not wanting u to go to the door. What's the need anyway? Your just getting back into the car. You don't need to go to their door and I wouldn't want to either !! As for the girlfriend she probably isn't helping the situation at all. But you know what there like.. always gotta be involved in someone else's issues!

Thanks for the support. It's really helpful. I feel like it's just intolerable at the moment. I know not going to his door might sound petty but it helps psychologically. I just feel like he keeps finding little tactics to reduce my ability to cope.

I do get it. With my ex its tiny things that seem really normal and reasonable to others. It was very brave of you to say no to getting out of the car.

I’m not sure about writing to his solicitor, unless court papers say you have to stay in the car. Keep a note of all the events; what happened and when.