Is anyone else doing 50/50 care?

[Misty9]

It's my 2nd night in my new place after H and I have separated (no major issue just a slow death) and the dc are with him now until weds when I'll pick them up and have them until Sat.

Just wondering if anyone else is doing 50/50? I'm having to contain my urge to declare that they're my children as I carried and gave birth to them, and so I want them more. This is for the dc as we've both always been very involved parents.

It feels like I'm ripping my heart out though

I've not done it, but sending a virtual hug as it must be very hard. But I bet it will get easier over time. Well done for putting your kids needs over yours x

I’m going through pretty much the same thoughts and feelings and yes it’s awful sorry I can’t offer you any advice just wanted to offer my support x

A calm and stress free mum is a happy mum. I fully understand the urge for your dc, I have it when working ot, exh having them but having down time is fundamentally good for you. Not just relaxing but being able to go to work or clean the house with out the constant noise of dc. It too a while for me to appreciate that.

I have a 50/50 arrangement with my ex. It works well for our two daughters, because they are able to have a strong relationship with both of us. And that's what matters most - their best interests.

I understand why you're missing your kids, but you need to steer clear of that nonsense about how you want them more because you carried them. Dads love their kids too, you know - just as much as Mums! Both parents are equal.

So, keep doing what you're doing, and putting the kids first. It is a big adjustment. Hobbies and other activities are essential when the kids are with the other parent, because you will miss them a lot when they're not with you (so will their Dad). So make sure you're filling your time with things you're going to enjoy. Hopefully, you've agreed a daily video call or similar when they're with the other parent - that helps. It's also worth making sure you're always positive around the kids about the tine they're spending with the other parent - don't let on how hard it is for you, because that will make things tougher for them.

Above all, reassure yourself that what you're doing is right for them, and there's a wealth of evidence that kids who have both parents closely involved do best. Focus on using the time you have free to rebuild the best version of your life.