This has been annoying me since. AIBU?

[sheepiesheepie]

Obviously it's schools holidays just now. DS15 was staying with his dad/SM on his usual night last week, and school was finishing up the next day, after lunch.

His dad texted my while DS was there saying he had asked to stay off the next day, as most of his friends were, and that was fine with him. But as he was working the next day, he'd be dropping DS off to my house on his way to work. I'd also be working.

It just made me wonder why DS couldn't just get up and go about his business at dads and head out when he wanted, as he would at mine when I'm working. Like he was being turfed out and wasn't "home".

He's due to stay there again tomorrow night and ex will be working the next day. I'm going to be really annoyed if it turns out DS has to get out when he goes to work again and I will probably just say he can just stay here instead.

SM may or may not be home with the baby, but I don't see what difference that makes. DS doesn't take much looking after.

AIBU?

Firstly, YABVU letting your son take time off school, even if all his mates are off. He's 15, so I assume GCSEs imminent? Yes I am 'one of those' who thinks school is important, even for a half day.

However, YANBU to assume that ds should be able to stay at his dad's if HE is ok-ing the time off. I bet he'd send him home to you if he was poorly too, right?

Grrrrr

No, no exams imminent. Not for another year. And please don't try and imply that I'm "one of those" who doesn't find my sons education important.

Other that that, thanks for replying.

YANBU. It's obvious they see him as a 'visitor' and not a proper member of their household. Your Ds probably can't relax properly when there if he's treated as an overnight guest.

Thanks @BlueMerchant

I just don't understand, as he's woken up there on previous holidays and just went about his business while dad and SM were working, with dad coming home at lunch for a while.

I'll see what happens when he stays next.

Maybe (& especially if the baby is very young) his SM would just prefer to have the house to herself, especially as he SHOULD be at school. I don’t actually think that’s unreasonable.

His primary residence is with you, I think it’s inconsiderate for him to hang out at their house when she’s at home with the baby and his Dad is at work.

But his SM is AT HOME now, presumably on ML, not at work. DS should have been at school. You & his Dad agreed he could take the day off, not her decision, so why should it affect her day?

You & his Dad agreed he could take the day off, not her decision, so why should it affect her day?

Actually, no, we didn't. You have assumed that. In the end he went to school. My ex was having this conversation with DS and was happy for him to take the day off, but he was to come back here at 8.15. I said I was happy for DS to leave at lunch as school was finishing half an hour after that. And that's what happened. Had he stayed off, that would have been ex's decision, in his home.