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Ex giving me the rage

5 replies

Lonecatwithkitten · 30/03/2019 06:58

My Ex and I have one DD (15) between us. He left 7 years ago and since then his input in taking her to activities has been minimal mainly because they disrupted his watching of rugby.
It turns out that she would like to turn her activities into a career in musical theatre ( she and I are all to aware how tough it is). She is talented.
In 2014 I found a children's musical theatre group for her to join from which she has learned and huge amount and has grown as a performer enabling her to move through the ranks. The group is a charity and when it looked like it would fold a few years ago I joined the committee to support and am currently the chair person, but have no creative responsibility and no influence over casting.
As it became clear this was what she wanted to do and that she had a good shot at it I have found choirs, associate programs at theatre schools and the such like for her to be part of. I fund and transport her to all these classes.
Last night was the opening night for the run of the main show for the musical theatre group DD has the lead role, both ExH and I watched. DD was excellent I was so proud, I was enormously proud of all the children in the group as every single one of them has grown as a performer in the last 6 months.
This morning I get an email from ExH telling me I need to sort the sound mixing, this is carried out by the professional sound tech at the theatre, we can feed back that we feel there need to be changes, but don't actually control it.
And then that I must make sure that DD moves on to a better group as fast as possible as she is too outstanding for the current group.
DD has just one more year till she 'graduates' from the group she is friends with every member of the company and I have brought her up to know that a 'star' is only as good as their company. And she has worked with younger and less experience members to help them to shine.
No where in his email did he actually say what an amazing show it was ( it really was their best so far IMO) or how hard everyone must have worked ( they have done).

Of course no mention of the effort that goes into organising her schedule ( I work full time including nights and weekends) not the cost - yes your £27.34 per month doesn't even feed her or pay for a single pair of her dancing shoes,
But still I must ensure she is moved as soon as possible.
Thank you if you have made it through my ranting essay.

OP posts:
SuperLoudPoppingAction · 30/03/2019 07:02

Is it simplistic to suggest he might be jealous/resentful and trying to take back control?

My ex is like this with every nice thing I do with my DSs. It puts them off as he can be so overbearing.

HennyPennyHorror · 30/03/2019 07:04

Maybe he's right though? I trained at RADA and one of the things I learned whilst sitting in on auditions was that the "stage school type" learned bad habits.

These bad habits were very difficult to train out. Perhaps, now she's older, it's time to consider the National Youth Music Theatre?
nymt.org.uk/

Dhalandchips · 30/03/2019 07:05

Cock! Not helpful but what a nob! You're awesome, your daughter sounds fabulous (helping other kids etc), he's jealous!

MonaChopsis · 30/03/2019 07:06

Literally just ignore him. Don't even reply. Yes he's a twat, but I doubt that comes as a surprise to you, so vent here, roll your eyes, close the email and thank any and every god you believe in that you no longer live with him and have to put up with his twattery 24/7.

Lonecatwithkitten · 30/03/2019 07:20

@HennyPennyHorror Thank you for the suggestion she has a place at British Youth Musical Theatre this summer and also is on a monthly associates program at one of the professional training schools. I know what you mean about the 'stage school style' she has separate singing lessons with an ex-west lending lady and takes lambda class in acting so hopefully that is not happening. So in many ways she is moving on. But the group gives her a regular weekly slot.
I know it is control, I know it is sour grapes, I am grey rock - no reply.

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