Dealing with a partners ex

[Fifedad78]

Hi all, first post......
I am having real problems dealing with the thought of my partners ex staying over at hers (he claims for the benefit of the child) but he is trying to influence her etc and ultimately wants her back etc. I have tried saying how uncomfortable this is for me, but I just come across as controlling, any advice?

If he is trying to get her back why are you together?

He’s staying to visit their son, she’s not interested in him but he’s doing all he can to disrupt us

You have to accept that she will probably but her child before you. She's just putting up with it for the sake of the child. Trust her.

Took me ages to work this out but ahh I get it

So your dad and in a new relationship with child's mum

Child's dad stays at mums house to see child but also wants mum back

Yes I get why that would be uncomfortable, how much do you trust her? Is there any reason why he needs to stay to see the child? Is it too far to go home after putting the child to sleep?

It's up to her ultimately if it's her place, and then depends how much you trust her as to whether you'll cope with it as a couple if she's ok with it

I trust her, he literally lives 20mins away and he continually makes suggestive disgusting remarks, just a bit of a low life to be honest

How old is child . Is there a reason child doesn’t have access at dad’s?

I think though ultimately You need to stand back and don’t expect everything to change because you are there?

Unfortunately the low life is the child's dad so as you'll have to deal with him for the foreseeable future I'd try not to focus on that too much and find some redeeming qualities somewhere

20 mins away - personally no reason for him to go home/see child at his?

I think your partner will have to either stop it or you lump it. Can't say I would though

He only lives 20 mins so he has to stay over wtf! Your gf is pulling the wool over your eyes. I thought you were going to stay he lives at least a couple of hours away not live bloody local. I wouldn't stay in a relationship if this regularly happened.

I’m trying really hard to ignore it, he plays the ‘best for his routine/bedtime’ card. Just really creeps me out, especially when making the pervy suggestive remarks. It’s all because he is a 40 something man-child and is back living with his parents, so now where suitable to take his son.

His kid is 8

He can take the child to his parents unless they are unsuitable too,?

He does but the kid doesn’t like it, but boring etc and doesn’t have his own room