Ex Parents On/Off

[Becks2019]

Just after some other opinions here...

My ex who had an affair and was unfaithful multiple times didn’t have any contact with our DD (2 at the time now 3) because he couldn’t “face her”. He would always agree to ring her after I pushed him but never did. He went away with work (army) for a few months and had no contact with her. So effectively not seen her more than twice in 10 months even on leave periods. Has now text out of the blue asking to see her and introduce his new gf to our daughter..

I have said he needs to build more of a relationship with our daughter before introducing someone new. ( has a habit of swapping gfs every couple of months) and he thinks I’m being unreasonable..

I have a new partner who she has met and formed a relationship with and her dad thinks it’s unreasonable he can’t do the same? Does anyone else think he’s unreasonable to ask considering he’s made no effort?

I think what he's suggesting is ridiculous, firstly he will be an almost stranger to his daughter and secondly his daughter is not some toy to parade in front of his new gf. I think it's absolutely shocking when parents do this sort of thing. I imagine she won't be keen to go with him anyway so he should wake up and realise that he's look like a right idiot doing his father of the year show when actually his daughter throws a wobbly because she has no bond with him whatsoever!

Couldn’t agree more, My daughter wants to see him but I don’t think she fully realises I won’t be there too. They’ve spent 2 hours together last week but I was there, and his argument was she seems fine with me. ( took her bowling, gave her ice cream and played on arcades) so he hasn’t had the wrath of her when you say no to her yet.. he doesn’t seem to understand. He’s got two children with his ex before me, and they’re not meeting her either you’d think he realise it’s just sensible considering his past behaviour x

As you say though he just doesn't understand because yes she's been fine, she knows you're there on tap and likely won't have a meltdown because of that and the fact he's likely all over her for the short time they spent together. Trouble is I find that this blasé attitude is a recipe for disaster because he won't pick up her hints for hunger/about to run off/feeling tired etc. I hope you can come to some arrangement. Perhaps you could say you could all meet somewhere public like bowling again so you can be there but maybe not as involved (maybe sit in cafe area or whatever). It's so difficult but I guess the novelty will wear off for him soon and you can go back to living in peace! I will be in your position soon I bet so please let me know how you get on x

I do also believe the novelty will wear off soon and we’re be left alone to carry on in our own little routine. Will let you know how we get on though x