Anyone single and work full time with 3 children, tips/advice please

[Lollysticks12]

So thinking I need to work more hours, 8.45 til 4 possibly, can be negotiated. I have a 10 year old, 13 year old and 14 year old, they'd be home alone alone for an hour after school which I'm not sure is a good situation, also worried about not keeping on top of everything.
Is anyone else in this situation who can tell me it will be fine or offer advice I might need .
Thanks for reading x

At those ages, and providing sensible kids they’ll be more than fine home alone for a couple of hours. Just leave a number they can ring if things go wrong and some snacks out. They’ll probably enjoy the independence and trust you show in them, plus the respect for their mum working hard to provide for them.

If boys they’ll probably just sit on their games consoles! Just make some rules, no cooking etc, only friend over (if wanted) things like that.

Is there any family help available to you? Or perhaps after school clubs if you feel uncomfortable?

Do you want to work more hours is it a no choice situation?

Hi

Thanks for replying, yes my mum can call in some days and the boy , my youngest will probably just be on the PS4 or at the school park so should be fine.
It's more for financial reasons that I need to work more hours, they are getting more expensive as they get older and find I'm having less free cash.

I've always liked been there for them when they get in from school but I'm sure they'll get used to it.
Just didn't want to be crazy busy all the time but maybe with a little more organisation it can be done.
Are you in a similar situation?

Sorry my advice is as an outsider as no, I just have the one child who’s still a baby but i am returning to work when he’s 6 months as maternity money is so poor.....

I was the child who came home to an empty house as parents still worked till 5/5:30. Then when they split, I came home to the same but living with one parent. To be honest, I think it’s harder on the parent than it is the child. All I did was watch rubbish tv or go to the park with my friends! I do think it makes evenings nicer as it becomes more ‘family time’ and teenagers less likely to hang out in their rooms. Occasionally I had afterschool (free) clubs and one night a week I’d do my paperround after school. This was my own money for spends and socialising with friends

I think it’s really positive that you want to work more. So many parents forget once children turn 18, a lot of benefits stop and child maintenance (if receiving any) then have to manage a huge drop in income. It’s good to work out how to maximise income as they grow up. It’s such a wonderful example to your children to see mum out working. If I was a teenager of yours, I’d feel very proud of you. Have you spoke to them about potentially working more?

Will the job involve any take home work at all or is it a case of when you clock off, you’re off? What about school holidays? It’s so hard to juggle being a mum and working.

Good luck whatever you decide to do x

Thanks so much for your kind words, I've spoken to the kids and they are not bothered at all lol
It is just me thinking I should be there, can you remember from your childhood thinking you wish your parents were home or is it just something you accept?

School holidays is a mixture of me taking time off, their dad taking time off and my mum who's retired, so shouldn't be much different from now.

Once I'm finished work I'm done so no working from home is possible which is a good thing.

It will be a big drop when the TC stop and the maintenance, hopefully working more hours should give me the opportunity to move up and a better salary by then 🤞

Thanks for thoughts, you've been a great help 😊

There was a small stint where my mum worked till 10/11pm when she had no choice and that was hard but 5:30pm was no issue. I was grateful to be able to do what I wanted in peace around the house! Teenage years and coming of age is that desire for a bit of independence, even if that just means a couple of hours to yourself at home. I also valued the time we got to spend together much more

Sounds like you’ve got it all planned out :)

Thanks for that 😊

I have a 10yo and my after-school care occasionally fails. When that happens, I leave work, pick him up from school at 3.15 & drop him home. I settle him with snack, drink, tv & phone, and go back to work, between 3.45 & 5.30.
It works for us. He knows I am only 3 miles away so can come home in an emergency, and there is an available supportive neighbour that he can go to for help if necessary.
He’s quite proud of being “in charge” and he’s pretty calm & self sufficient, but I wouldn’t want to do it for longer.

Work is only 1.5 miles away and the eldest 2 have phones so I thinking it won't be a problem x

They will surprise you in how well they cope. They are old enough to manage. Unlimited wi-if till you get home will keep them quiet! Make sure they know basic safety stuff - don’t tackle a fire just get out for example - and be clear which neighbours would help them if they were unsure about anything.

I have worked full time since my youngest turned 3. Organisation is key and ensuring your kids can do stuff independently. Mine can get up, get dressed and have breakfast on the table by the time I am out the shower and dressed. Do packed lunches the night before and prep the slow cooker to put on in the morning so tea is ready when you get home. Consider cold meals like salad and quiche and simple stuff like omelette and beans for those nights when you can’t be bothered. Invest in a dishwasher, tumble dryer and roomba as these help massively. Your kids are old enough to have a job each in return for pocket money - mine empty/fill dishwasher before I get home, take out recycling, empty bins into the main one etc etc. It took a lot of training but eventually it’s been easier to just do it then have me nag so persevere!

Good luck! You will be great!

Some great ideas there, they are quite self sufficient around the home but could do more and definitely need to find some good slow cooker recipes, never really been successful with that.
I love the roomba idea!
Thank you x

I have the world’s laziest 13 and 14 year olds and even they can make something basic to eat when they come in from school. It’s usuallu pizza or breaded chicken pieces, fried eggs and bacon or toasted sandwiches. I have tried leaving a shepherds pie, lasagne or soup for them to heat up but they don’t.

Most of their school friends are in the same situation by high school, most mums are working .