Having another baby

[AnnieMay100]

Hi everyone, hoping someone here who has been through donor conception could give me some advice.
I am a single mother of 2 children aged 12 and 10. Divorced from their father 5 years ago, who still sees them regularly.
I have stayed single as I haven’t met anyone I have a connection with, so now I feel my time is running out to have another baby. I always wanted 3 and were ttc when the problems began between myself and xh, so the longing has never gone away in 6 years.
I have been looking into donor sperm and going it alone but I have some concerns that are holding me back slightly.
How will this affect my two children? Could they resent the baby as our usual routine will be disrupted not to mention sleep and freedom to do what we chose will be altered.
The baby will not have a father involved whereas my 2 children do, would there be resentment to baby’s older siblings that they go to visit their father but the baby only has me. Also the baby always having my attention while they have to visit their father and get less time at home.
I have a good stable job, own my own home and we have a good happy life. I just feel these issues could cause problems in our family if not handled correctly and I don’t want to hurt my children. My family are unsupportive and don’t agree with my plans, they say I am too old and should give up my desire for more children but in my heart I can’t. My children have always asked for a new sibling so I don’t doubt they would love the baby. I am completely stuck and need reassurance I would be doing the right thing.

Anyone?

How old are you?

I am of the camp that you should count your blessings and enjoy the family you have. I wanted three children. But am happy that I stopped at two. They are more independent now and a joy to be around and engage with instead of the baby/toddler stage.

Although that is easy for me to say. I know I'm done. But If you feel that you can support three children and want to then go ahead and enjoy it.

Your children are now coming to the dependent stage of being left alone. I would personally not have another baby. I have 3 and trust me it can be really hard work, especially with the arguments between them.
Maybe it's now time to get back on the dating scene.

In your position, I would not add a new baby to your family.

You are very fortunate to be managing being a lone parent. I would not risk upsetting what you do have for something you don't have.

My dc are 14 & 11 and lo is 1, it was the best choice for me and my dc love ds so much. More than I could of hoped for and more than they thought they would. My eldest said he sees him as his brother not half. He comes in and picks him up and plays with him, more than some df do.
There were times of panic and I watched out and asked questions throughout my pregnancy to make sure they were doing with it, I worried my self silly.
I never thought I would have another dc and never thought I would want one when my dc were more independent, but it's the best choice for me and our family.

On a practical note, do you have help for during/after the birth? If you have a csection will you have help at home for a few weeks?

If your child had additional needs would this be something you feel you could cope with alone?

It could be hard if your family is unsupportive and resentful. Nobody can answer your questions categorically because we don't know your children and can't predict the future. What is known is that statistically, children do better in life with stability, predictability, two parents whose identity they know, and a loving community around them. By choosing to bring a baby into the family with donor sperm, you're increasing the risk that the child and its siblings could experience problems in life but that does not mean that those individual children will have any more problems than anyone else.

It could all go fine, it could all go pear shaped. Are you at peace with the possibility of a child with a serious illness or disability, and how that would affect the family?

I don’t have any advice but I would probably go for it

Thanks for all replies I have taken them on board and will think about it for a bit longer before deciding