Adding my surname on to my childs

[JoJo2106]

Hi,

Just wondering if anyone would know if my ex partner doesn't agree to a name change (highly doubt he will) would the court be likely to agree to adding my surname onto my son's name?

I was in an abusive relationship with my ex and when I was pregnant I was basically pushed into using his surname. I wish I'd been stronger to put my foot down and say no but unfortunately I wasn't and I used his surname and his alone. We were only together around 2 weeks after ds was born when I chose to end the horrible relationship. We have recently been through the family court and now have a child arrangement order, ds lives with me and spends time with his dad. I wish I had brought it up then tbh but I just never thought at the time as i was so stressed with the rest of it.

I am going to ask a solicitor to write a letter to ex asking about the name change. We are only allowed to communicate via a contact book and i don't want to ask him in that as it could turn nasty with back and forward replies so I thought a solicitor would be the best bet. I am just wondering what my chances are of a court agreeing to this before I contact solicitor as they charge you just for picking up the phone.

I am.not asking to remove my exes surname as I know that would probably never happen. But I would like to add mine on so ds has a link to both parents. Also is it likely my surname would go more as a middle name? My surname actually sounds better coming after my exes surname but I suppose that won't count lol.

Ds is 18 months old now and I am.aboutto register him in nursery etc so I would like to get this sorted before he starts so he grows up knowing he has both our surnames rarher than Changing it when he's older.

Has anyone done similar and been granted permission from the court?

All you need to know is here in this link. Scroll down to number 11

"Applying for a court order to change your child's name without the consent of the other parent"

This seems very positive though...it looks like your wish might come true!

Please note, your chances of successfully obtaining a court order (for children of all ages) is greatly increased if you do not seek to remove the absent parent's surname from your child's surname (i.e. by double-barrelling your child's surname). For young children, a two-stage strategy should be considered i.e. initially apply to change to a double-barrelled surname and if successful, you can apply again when your child is 11 years of age to have the absent parent's name removed altogether.

www.deedpoll.org.uk/CanIChangeMyChildsName.html#Section11

Sorry! Here's link.

@HennyPennyHorror, Thank you for that. I am hoping so. In an ideal world I would prefer my surname after my exes as it just sounds better and right but i can't imagine that happening really. Am guessing they may agree to double barrel with exes name last as that is ds's surname at the moment.

I don't think the order matters OP. You can arrange it as you like. So if he's Jones and you're Smith, you can have Jones-Smith or Smith-Jones as you prefer.

Surely the court would decide how the names were arranged? My ex would strongly object to my name been last as he would see it as my surname would be the main one used as it comes last.

Why would they decide? The order of names does not make one less valid than the other.

@HennyPenny, not sure if I'll even bother trying tbh. If you pop over to legal, I posted the same thread on there and it doesn't sound very positive or straightforward. Seems there has to be a good reason to change the name. Just the fact that I want it changed isn't enough.

It DOES matter on the order. My exes surname was last. I asked when I registered her which way to put the names if I wanted mine to be the main one used (I was told to put it first) that isnt true at all and I found everywhere naturally dropped my name and only used exes (I even get referred to as “mrs exes name) due to it despite having never been married to him. The name that is last will be the main one used and they will assume the other is a middle name.

Anyway I spoke to a solicitor about getting exes name removed (he is fully absent) and was told it wouldnt be happening.