Hi all,
I'm not a lone parent , but what I'm asking is a situation many of you may face and I'm hoping someone can help me work out what to do .
So DS is 15. His Dad and I separated when he was a few months old. He's had overnight contact since he was 2.5 ( we spent 2 years at court prior to this).
The arrangement has always been that Ex collects DS on a Saturday and I collect DS Sunday afternoon. It's always worked well as my now husbands family lives very near my Ex so we've timed picking DS with visiting the in laws. I don't drive so DH has always been in charge of that - and happily took it on from very early days.
That location is 50 miles away.
Now Ex has moved. Totally the other direction. 80 miles away. I told Ex that I understood he wanted to move but that I felt we couldn't be expected to do a 160 mile round trip EOW. That was fine, he has other children with his EW so he'd have to bring them home so he'd do that. He separated from his wife 2 years ago. She has never played a part in either taking or collecting the children.
Now his Ex has offered that one weekend a month she will travel to pick her children up. Great, however now Ex is expecting us to do the same, and as he knows we had been clear that we wouldn't be doing the travel he's saying contact with be reduced to once a month as he apparently has no way of bringing DS home that weekend .
I'm not overly happy. I feel pushed in a corner about this and don't want the feeling that DS is seeing less of his Dad because of us.
I don't have the best relationship with his Dad. He's crap at time keeping, crap at paying maintenance and generally hasn't been the best dad. So I'm struggling to see his side. I do however see that DS has an entitlement to see his Dad. Ex knows I think of things like that so I think he's trying to manipulate it as he knows I only want what's best for him. However I don't feel that it's fair we're being pushed into agreeing to something that he said he would solve.
Getting a train isn't an option as it'll cost a fortune and we can't afford it- Ex pays very minimal maintenance which won't cover it either.
Does anyone know where we stand? Years ago I was advised that it's ex's contact, he should deal with it. Is that still what's advised?
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23 replies
namechanger0110 · 04/03/2019 12:42
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