Help! What can I do about house

[moaningminnie123]

So, husband left to live with a new woman 3 days before new year (no warning nothing) and expects us to sell the house and each take a 50% share of equity. We have 2 children who are with me in the family home, I don’t want to disrupt them anymore than they have been disrupted. I have offered to take over the mortgage myself with his equity remaining in the house until the kids are 18 but he says he needs a minimum of £20000 to start afresh and his solicitor has informed him that the law states that he needs to be in a position to provide a home for himself and the children. I cannot borrow any more than our current mortgage on my own :( is he right? Will I have to sell in order to give him money? Or is it worth fighting him through a solicitor/mediation? He claims he has debts that have been run up during our marriage but he won’t disclose anything to me 😢 feel like everything is set up to protect him and I am going to lose everything

This must be really difficult. Don't let him rush you into doing or agreeing anything. He's had time to think about this before you even realised he'd decided to leave. You need to get proper legal advise, don't believe what your husband says. There are other threads here that have mentioned agreements where the mum and children stay in the family home until the children are 18, but I think you should just focus on the divorce (if that's the plan) and whatever settlement that brings, e.g. house, maintenance, contact days etc to all be discussed together. Look after yourself.

It sounds like this man is focusing on what he can get . Do get legal advice. Don’t let him take more than he is entitled

You DO NOT have to sell your house unless the divorce court says so. They may choose to award you the entire house. Or they might say it has to be split but not until your children leave home. Don’t do anything or give him a single penny until the divorce is finalised.

What are yours and his pensions like? They form part of the marital pot... also 50:50 is a starting point and if you are primary carer of DC on a lower income with low earning potential may be awarded more than 50%

If you only got 50% of the house could you afford a suitable property for the DC?

There are more factors than juts the house. Will you have 50/50 residences or will the children reside mainly with you? Do you both have a pension? Do you both work? You need to let the court work it out, he doesn't get to make the decision- he left. They will decide a fair division of all the assets. Continue to pay the mortgage, as that will also be taken into account, and tell him that you need a divorce and financial settlement through court.

You need legal advice

It's not necessarily 50/50 anyway. It depends on lots of things. Don't believe anything that he says his solicitor has told him. The solicitor is acting for him, not you - and your ExH might be lying anyway. Go and get proper legal advice. You might find you've got a legal advice line with your house insurance.

I earn about 7 grand more than him a year. At the moment the children reside mainly with me and I don’t feel 50:50 custody would be in their best interests. I might be able to afford to buy a similar property but it’s touch and go.

Stay and fight, me. Think they can leave and make demands. Remove him from accounts utilities etc ASAP