Children don’t want to see thier dad

[Justmum3babies]

Hi I was wondering if I could get some advice.
Following a marriage of 12 years, 12 years of cheating from my now ex, emotional abuse and fraud. I decided to leave my husband (2 years ago). However I do have my 3 children which I am very grateful for.
Following the separation, he has not had the children overnight once, he attempted to take me to court to have a court order put in place so he could see the children for only 6 hours a week, no more, no less. He lived with his friend who owned two small dogs and his excuses for not having the children were “the dogs don’t like the children”, he spent a lot of his time with the children drunk, never did anything with them. After discussions with CAFCASS he withdrew his court application.
We both moved on, he had the children for his 6 hours a week, I started a new relationship, he started a new relationship.
His girlfriends children aren’t very nice towards my children and for that reason my children don’t want to go to his new house (that he shares with his girlfriend and her children) they have made that decision and also through a gruelling telephone call, told him this. My children a petrified of him but also scared of letting him down but they were very brave and told him what they wanted: time alone with him without his girlfriend and her children. To which he declined and said it isn’t possible. He has asked to have the children every week and each time the children have declined unless he is alone.
Now my children have made the decision to relocate to the USA (my fiancé’s home) however they know and I know thier father won’t give permission. I have briefly discussed this with him and he has given no reason as to why they can’t go, only that “I’m taking his children away” I suggested Skype, telephone calls, messages and holiday visits. The answer was still no.
Now the children have decided they want to go, I’m not sure what to do - I don’t want to spend a lot of money on court when I know he’s just being stubborn. He doesn’t see his children, doesn’t spend time with them, doesn’t pay anything towards them, he’s working (cash in hand) and claiming benefits, I just don’t know what to do.
I want the best for my children and let them follow their dreams but he won’t allow any of this.

I feel like I’m the bad guy in all of this.

You need to apply to the court for a specific steps order to allow the court to decide if you can move with the children, in the absence of the fathers permission. It will cost £215. You don't need a lawyer you can do this yourself. The judge will order a section something report (can't remember the number think it's 7) where CAFCASS officers will speak to the children while they are in both parents homes but without the parents present. Pretty much , the judge will go with what the kids want if they are old enough to understand.

Pm me if you want more info. I opposed this on behalf of DH when his ex tried to remove his kids. But v different circs. 50/50 Care, SN and proposing a move to a place with no SN schools !

Follow THEIR dreams of moving to the US You mean you want to relocate with your fiancé and obviously the children have to come with you. Be honest - they haven't suddenly conjured up this dream life. You're instigating it. Which is fine. But done pretend it's something it's not.

Mediation and court if their father won't agree.

It is thier dream. They have visited and love it, it has no way been instigated by me. We visited America long before myself and thier dad broke up and they loved it then.
It’s not planned.
He has decided if I don’t go to mediation regarding him having access with his girlfriends children involved, it will go to court. Mediation have also suggested to him having independent access and he has refused. My children are old enough to know that he doesn’t care yet I’m here telling them he does care and they should see him.

How old are the dc?

I don't know if you're presenting it that way to make it sound better, but "Now my children have made the decision to relocate to the USA (my fiancé’s home)" does sound extremely strange. I wouldn't stick with that version of events, if I were you.

I'm guessing they are all under fourteen?

It is thier dream. They have visited and love it,

Lol. Mine would say that about NY, Malta, Spain, Greece, Portugal, Egypt....

A judge won't be happy you having given dc free reign on major decision making.
You are the parent.
Show you are responsible and are thinking of their best interests or a judge will.
And he /she may decide staying here is the way forward to continue/forge a relationship with df.
Unless your dc are mid teens at least....