Maintainance Payments and Tax credits advice

[IdreamofClooney]

Hello Everyone

I haven;t posted for a while as have been very busy and work so thougth I would say "hello" and aslo wanted to ask for some advice.

My ex is TOTALLY unreliable and is not paying me any maintainance for our DS.

He says he doesn;t want to "pay for your new house" - I have bought a new house as we are in a one bed flat and DS is now two. I am financially streched but I made the decison to buy the house so accpet that. I am not reliant on money from ex (just as well) but I think that he should make a contributiuon to his son.

I have asked him for £300 a month which is barely half of the nursery fees. I work full time adn ex was meant to take DS on his two days off while I was at work but has not turned up several times so I am now paying for full time nursery which I find unfair as Ex is in bed while I am at work and paying for DS to bein nursery but there you go.

I get quite a lot of Tax credits but EX does not know this. If he found out I reckon he woudl be even less likely to ever pay me anything.

Do you tell your Ex how much tax credits your get and do your ex's pay you any maintianance?

I am moving two weeks on friday (hurrah) so as he won;t give me my keys back I have resigned myself to him continuing to doss around my flat until I move although it drives me mad.

One day he didn;t turn up to look after DS as arranged so I had to deperatedly phone round to find childcare as I am so busy at work I coulnd' just take a days hols. He then phoned me on my mobile from my homephone after 12 to say he'd slept in. He did not turn up to collect DS till after 1.30 so what was he doing in my flat for an hour - sitting relaxing drinking tea and watching telly or going through my personal stuff? I hate it but everytime I bring it up (like the money) he just deflects it and makes out that I am a hyserical woman and he is a wonderful dad and it is all my fault!

is there anyway you can arrange childcare without needing him?

I could put DS into nursery full time but then either he would never see his dad then I would have to give up some of the time I see him at weekends and I feel I hardly spend time with him at all.
Just having a very hard time at the moment = it will get better!

Hmmm..it's hard, but whit will get easier as your ds gets bigger. What time is his bedtime at the mo?

I usually get him in bed by 8.30, I have suggested an over night with ex but he said no and that DS was too young and that he needed time off!!!! ha ha ha To be honest amnot sure I would trust ex with DS over night - I am over protective - Ex has a daughter who he has over night and she is fine!

Well why can't you just let EX see his son a couple of evenings a week, to take him to the park or similar after you get him home from nursery?

Betetr than him being in your house and better than you relying on him for childcare?