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Advice needed

4 replies

Notsleptin2wholegoddamnyears · 19/02/2019 07:41

Contact with my ex and 2.5yr old son was stopped 6 months ago following separation due to safeguarding concerns, I have been through solicitors to try to facilitate appropriate contact but this has been unsuccessful due to ex’s volatile nature, there are police reports due to harassment towards me throughout this time and I am now no contact with him other than child contact issues. He has been told by various professionals to apply to court to resume contact, which 6 months down the line he still has not done but continues to harass me and manipulate me into doing what he wants.
I received a really nasty email from him yesterday which for one has really upset me, but he’s made a comment about child maintanence which has come out of no where as I’ve never demanded he contribute, he decided to give some money directly to me each month, which has been hit and miss and I have not questioned.
The issue that I have is that he is now saying that he is withholding maintenance until contact is resumed and that he will be putting the money into a savings account and I have to ask him when I need money or stuff for the child. No way will I be asking him for money and I do not believe he will be putting the money aside, also this contributes towards our sons nursery fees.
Do I contact child maintenance and get it set up officially or will the judge request to see said savings account when it gets to court?

OP posts:
thefirst48 · 19/02/2019 07:42

Definitely go to CMS.

AuntMarch · 19/02/2019 11:14

Yes, do it officially. He can't just avoid paying by choosing to to resume contact!

qwerty66 · 22/02/2019 23:26

paying & contact are totally separate. he should have been paying!

Lonecatwithkitten · 23/02/2019 07:46

A decent father pays maintenance without question as it is to provide for their child and is not related to contact.
Go to the CMS and take that element of control away from him. If you explain about harassment they may waive the £20 fee.
If he would like contact he needs to go to court, this is what you tell him. In fact I would have an email address just for him that you only check once per week. Create an auto reply stating that if he would like contact he needs to go to court. Then you only need to reply in the rare instant that he actually has something important to say.

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