I'm a horrible parent

[SpunBodgeSquarepants]

I really lost my temper tonight - DS (almost 5)is a fussy eater. He will not touch vegetables at all, and the only fruit he will eat is bananas. I spent 2 hours making Tom Kerridge's beef biryani and he refused to even try it. I told him to go and put his pyjamas on and he just screamed at the top of his lungs. I threw his tablet and the screen smashed. I feel awful. I'm just so so fed up with throwing food away when things are tight enough already. I've sent him to bed hungry and crying, and I'm on the sofa miserable and crying. I booked us cinema tickets this morning for tomorrow which I was looking forward to but now I'm dreading it.

Tomorrow is a new day so don't let today get you down.. you never smashed his tablet intentionally.

What good does he typically like to eat? It's so hard when they are fussy.

Have you tried letting him help you to cook?

I let my boy who is nearly 2 put all the toppings on himself (He goes through the cupboard smelling all the herbs haha)

You are not a terrible mum otherwise you would not have posted on here and you would not be sat crying feeling at a loose end.

Also if he really was hungry he would eat, does he snack alot through the day?

My sister felt the same as you with her daughter and bought one of these after trying everything and it worked, they get a prize at the end

www.dunelm.com/product/fred-dinner-winner-kids-plate-1000136433?skuId=30596647&branchCode=985&cm_mmc=pla_google-_-PLA - GS - Cook - LIA--Childrens Cook and Dine - New--keyword&gclid=Cj0KCQiAzKnjBRDPARIsAKxfTRAZYZF52evcpcfC-0O7iW0I6FftOgfr20nSbSpH4H5eBFiejPhqBNMaAkYdEALw_wcB

God I have been there!!! My DS (3) is a terrible fussy eater (along with a host of severe allergies) and it causes me great anxiety. I have lost my temper a few times and I completely understand that feeling of having to chuck good food in the bin. I will give u the advice i know is true.

You are a good mum...otherwise you wouldn't care about what he eats!!

You are human and you lost it. Don't beat yourself up. You ruptured so repair!

Feel sorry for yourself. Then go find your DS say sorry and talk to him.

Advice on food I don't have! Just keep trying!

My sister has a tub that she keeps little prizes in like little sweets or poundshop prizes and when she has finished she gets to choose 1 thing from the tub.. if she doesn't eat it she doesn't get a prize.

The first time you do this I would put his favourite foods on so he wins and understands how it works.. then you can get more adventurous with different food.

It didn't work every time so don't get disheartened if he doesn't always finish. Also make sure the amount of food does not overface

Sorry for rambling on I just feel for you as I have seen my sister sat in tears

I long ago learned that kid food works best if you have a fussy kid. My 17 year old wouldn't eat biriyani and certainly wouldn't give a toss whose recipe it was. Just feed him pizza, sausages, pasta, chicken and fishfingers like everyone else.

And stop taking his behaviour personally. He doesn't dislike a range of flavours and textures "in order to" annoy you, you know.

@itsallpeachyfornow that's brilliant, thank you so much for the link. Definitely going to try this with him!

@floatingthroughspace I wouldn't mind if he lived off kid food if he would eat a side of peas too! He's going to get scurvy at this rate

Your so welcome, it can be really hard sometimes and you must have tried so many different things and today it's got on top of you, that doesn't make you a horrible parent.. just worried and frustrated.

Maybe when you have been to the cinema tomorrow take a trip to get the plate and let him pick some prizes.

Keep smiling it will get better Xxx

Looking forward to an update and hopefully a happy smiling mamma

Division of Responsibility really helped me with my dc. Both pretty fussy. If one likes a meal the other will hate it. Something all 3 of us enjoy us is very rare. It got really bad. Very stressful.

Division of responsibility really helped me eat better, and relax a lot, as well as improving what dc eat. I enjoy cooking again. If they don't like something I am
Much more relaxed. It's ok.

www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/how-to-feed/the-division-of-responsibility-in-feeding/

@lovingit81 thank you for your kind words. I'm feeling better now and he's gone to sleep, we will draw a line under today and have a nice day together tomorrow

@theclitterati just had a skin through - very very interesting. Will find the time tomorrow to have a proper read. Thank you so much

It's very simple concept. More a switch in the thinking than anything else.

You'll both feel better after some sleep - yes tomorrow is brand new day.

Sorry to hear you had a bad day. My dd was awfully fussy. But their taste develop as they get older. I remember being excited if she ate a pea or a grape.

Keep it simple as already suggested. If they don't eat the peas or beans don't stress. Make sure they have a multi vitamin daily. And see how it goes as they get older. Dd will try things now and is getting braver with her food

Mine is now 22 and a very adventurous eater (scorpions in Asia), but she was the fussiest eater as a child. Grew out of it at 19.
Baby nurse kept reminding me milk is a whole food, so if she drank milk at the end of the day, I was happy.
I did typical grate veggies in to sausage rolls and pasta sauces.
Good luck

Also found if she cooked with me she was more likely to eat things.
This progressed to her cooking a night a week at about age 8 or 9.

I hope you have a lovely day together today. Nobody is perfect all the time, it's ok to make a mistake and apologise for it- that's what you'd tell your child so it's ok to actually show it too!

I'm only half way through my pregnancy but I am putting those links in my memory bank! I was a bad eater so fully expect karma to kick me hard