Bear with me, please - it's a bit complicated. But I really need some advice.
Would you make a 5 year have overnight contact in this situation?:
I got an order specifying the minimum contact and frequency. Until this, ex had not made himself available to our daughter whilst protesting that I was preventing him from seeing her. For a year.
He has completely failed to meet the minimum requirements but has named some specific dates that he wants overnight contact. The next one is next month.
Recently, after a bit of a misunderstanding, there was an incident of DV in front of our daughter and she is now fearful of him. And probably v confused by him shouting at her 'Mummy won't let me see you!!!!' But she misses him too.
Police attended the incident it's all logged, warned him (caution?) and there was talk of me getting a non-molestation order etc etc but I'm programmed to show willing to facilitate contact. Ex ignored my attempts to communicate.
Ex then filed for a new order, claiming all sorts of easily disprovable nonsense and stating that I'm preventing contact. At the same time, he's asking that the new order reduces further the amount of contact. (Nothing he does ever makes any sense...)
At the directions hearing, the court were very sympathetic to me. And we discussed gradual, careful reintroduction of daughter to her father. Court made it clear that we have to work together to figure it out but that initial phone contact, then short contact in a public place etc would be the way to go. My daughter is no longer saying that she never wants to see him again but she asked can she come home again at teatime after seeing him.
I asked ex about what days he could do something like this before the next overnight date that he wants. (Daughter is on half term so is available pretty much any day of the week). Ex's response was a flat out refusal - he wants to do the monthly overnight dates and nothing else. Absolutely no willingness to give our daughter the gradual reintroduction she needs. I have his bizarre response on email. He also refused, in front of the court, to talk to me about it after the hearing.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
My gut is telling me not to send my daughter off for the overnight contact next month. Seems impossible to get any shorter contact with him before then. I think she'd be ok spending a few hours with him that day but I know he won't bring her back and will keep her overnight. I just don't want to put my daughter through this or let her down. But will I then be the nasty RP preventing contact for no good reason? - you can guarantee that this is what he'll complain.
Our next hearing at court is after Easter. Is there any way that I can flag this breakdown of the interim contact? Should I just make her available on the dates that he's not asking for overnight contact so that she at least sees him?
He's a total sociopath, by the way...