Single parent, what should I do!

[Singleparent92]

Hi everyone ! I’m a single parent (no support from the dad whatsoever ) to a young child, and I’m currently living at my mothers house (been here for about a year now)nd I am desperate to leave( she is emotionally/mentally/verbally abusive. I hate her so so much! Even the sound of her voice makes my blood boil. Anyway there is a bit of a background story as I was sexually abused as a kid several times by at least 2 different men and I strongly believe she allowed them to do it) but I only realised till I got to my mid 20s what she did. I only realised as I got older that my childhood was not normal. Anyway I am willing to move on forward with my life which I was doing very well but I knew I had to come back and take my son back with me ( I very stupidly left him in her care, but the thing is I don’t think I am able to work and parent on my own, I also cannot afford to rent a house. I have asked the council to help me but they are being slow and messing me around as they spoke to my mother and she is quite manipulative and pretended everything was okay. I believe she wants my child for benefits and I know she will make it VERY difficult for me to take him. She has said numerous times she will not allow me to take him.She has absolutely NO legal right over him as I stupidly willingly left him in her (rented) house. She has always hated me even as a child so I know am not the problem and it’s her that’s the problem. My main concern is that I can’t afford to rent a house as it’s too expensive. I have spoken to a friend about this several times and was hoping for him to kind of help me out( he has given me a date when he will talk to me properly)but I don’t know if he will . It kills me having to ask for help and I am embarrassed. So what does everyone suggest I do. Xx^^ This is my first post and I just wanted to say how GREAT this website is ! It’s been a lifesaver x

Could you get in touch with women's aid? They help women and children living in abusive situations, you are, so is your child.

Give Gingerbread a call to chat over your options. I believe Woman's Aid are under a lot of pressure atm so unless you're in mortal peril, you may need to work this one through for yourself.

I don’t have any solutions but I just wanted to say that I think it’s important that you get the child benefit put into your name as this has an affect on your pension.
Also ask yourself honestly what help it is you are seeking from your friend.
But yes, women’s aid may be able to offer advice.
If you had a friend in your position how would you advise her?

Cross post...re woman’s aid...I can imagine they are under pressure and Gingerbread is a very good call

Have you spoken to your local council? If they can't help I would consider speaking to social services to see if they can help you get out of there. Tell them you are concerned that your mother could be a threat to her. Good luck xx

If you can't stay at your mums, you & your child should be eligible for emergency housing - you also might be able to get a Refuge space due to the abusive nature of your mum too. Good luck!!

Thank u everyone for your advice but I feel like this is my own doing! I left my kid and now he has been brainwashed by her so it’s kind of difficult to take him without a fight, I too was brainwashed until I got older and realised what was going on. womens aid/social services won’t help (I have already spoken to them) My mother is very manipulative and pretends everything is ok and so they are reluctant in helping me. Whenever I try and question her on her behaviour My mother starts shouting and that upsets my kid so I try and keep the peace. Once I manage to escape, I will be putting plans into action and reporting my abuse from the past to the police so hopefully she will serve time in prison for her part in it. Thanks again xx