What now, if ex doesn't seem to want to see his son?

[SurferRosa]

I arranged for ex-p to bring his older kids to see the baby a couple of weekends ago. He didn't come despite having made a great hoo-ha about it. He didn't let us know.

I still haven't heard from him and it's starting to sink in that I can - almost - relax a bit, for the time being. But the truth is, I can't really write him out of our lives, can I? I mean, he could front up any old time, making noises about access, and I wouldn't be able to prevent it as far as I can see.

Has anyone experience of ex partners showing a real lack of commitment, then turning up a few years down the line...I'm trying to get a balanced outlook as to what we can expect.

I have been told that if he shows a blatant lack of commitment, this will count against him in future - is that correct?

Thanks - you know me on here but I had to name change last week.

[Wisteria]

SR - sorry to hear this, sounds crap tbh.

It is unfair but I think they do have this right, especially if he pays maintenance.
Bumping for you anyway in case anyone has better knowledge or experience.

I know my xp picked up and put down his kids, it seemed on a whim, with no thought for anyone and is probably still doing it - so unfair on them as they are lovely boys and deserve a much better Dad than they've been saddled with.

I have a friend who refuses to let her ds see his son unless he's paid maintenance but personally I think this is wrong too.

It's a hard one for you either way x

[brandy7]

from what ive learnt on other forums it seems dads can show no interest whatsoever for years, go to court and be given contact as it is their right as a father. basically the law lets a mum do all the hardwork early years on their own and when its time to play footie/go swimming the absent dad can turn up and within 6months be having unsupervised contact