Hiya, I desperately need some advice and I apologise now for the long post.
To cut a long story short me and my ex split up, after the constant lies he told, the failure to commit as a boyfriend or a dad properly (he thought buying things was more acceptable than being around!) breaking promises etc. Now he lives an hour and a half away and I tried to be nice after we split, said let’s be amicable for LOs sake and said he could stay at our house rather than a hotel ( LO is 2 and is too small to stay at his when it’s so far away and his house is currently just unliveable, it’s a shambles) he agreed but since she was 1 years old, he’s constantly let her down, not turned up when he said he would, hasn’t even messaged me to say he isn’t coming or when he does it’s at an unreasonable hour like 10/11 at night! He hasn’t ever bothered to give her a call, it was always me asking him to call her as she missed him. Then he would promise to ring the next day, only to use the sand excise every time, that he forgot or slept in (this is at 11 in the morning, alright for some people who don’t have responsibilities!) he’s also a shambles when paying maintenance, we set it up through the CSA after he constantly failed to pay on time, we did it via a family arrangement but even that he takes the pee with, so now I’m having to call them up and arrange the collect and pay service on Monday! When he does pay, he acts like he is god and that he is a fantastic father which seriously irritates me. This Friday just gone he had said he would be down in the early afternoon. It got to 6pm and there was no sign of him, I messaged his dad to ask where he is but as always he covered for him and tried to make an excuse up which I knew was a lie. He then read my Facebook message and ignored me. So I messaged him saying he was rude for not turning up, wasting my day and making me stay in waiting when we could of gone out and for upsetting my little girl once again by not being here, he had also failed to pay again so I called him out on it, telling him I don’t get to pick and choose when I support my child so why do the rules not apply for him. All I got back was, well what are your bank details. Not a sorry for not turning up, not a sorry for wasting our day and not a damn sorry for breaking yet another promise to my little girl! He still hasn’t apologise and yet he sits there and plays the victim to his family saying I’m a terrible person and I don’t let him see her! I’m so terrible that I’m raising our daughter single handedly whilst he goes out with his mates every weekend and doesn’t even support his child!
I’ve told him he isn’t seeing her as I’m sick of watching her get upset that he isn’t coming, she’s two and already he’s effing up her life!
I just want to know where do I stand on stopping him seeing her as he has had so many chances for the last 2 years and he has blown every one of them, I just want him away from my daughter forever because he is ruining her life and still messing with mine too! Also if I stop him seeing her will child maintenance also stop too?