How to "pay" Dm

[FinallyFree123456789]

My DM has been doing 1 school drop offs & 2 collections for dd for the past year for me.
From April she'll be doing 2 drop offs and 2 collections.
She refuses to take any money from
me.
So far I've bought her a spa day, afternoon tea, a flower delivery, a fit bit, 2 items of clothing and I take her for lunch once a week.

I'm booking a holiday for me and dd and am thinking of booking my mum a place too and giving it to her for her birthday - so she can't refuse the holiday - as a birthday present / payment for looking after dd for me.

A) do you think that's ok?
B) where would you go in April short haul?

Your mum is doing it because she loves you and her granddaughter, wants to help you and enjoys spending time with her granddaughter. While you are right not to take her for granted, you don’t need to keep spending money on her to “pay” her. The best payback you can give her is with your time and love. Ask her if she wants to come on holiday with you, not as payment for her services but because you want to spend the time with her. Then you can plan it together, which I bet she’d enjoy much more than a “surprise!” birthday gift/payback.

@HeddaGarbled this is true. I just feel that I should give her something - as she does so much for us so I like to give her things that she wouldn't normally buy for herself.

I know she'll refuse the holiday if I ask her. We've just come back from a city break - I asked her to come with us - she said no she wanted it to be me and my dd for "girls time"

I know she wants a holiday; but at the same time I know she'll refuse it if I ask her to come because she'll feel bad "making me pay" but I really don't want her to feel bad, but also want her to have a holiday - and I know she'd love to come with us

Just tell her what you told us...