Looking for inspirational stories

[Roseyb123]

I’m 31 weeks pregnant with my first baby and I'm single, me and my partner broke up a few weeks ago over what started to turn into quite volatile, nasty arguments. I decided I didn’t want my little girl to be born into an environment like that, so I asked him to leave and he moved out. I have a couple of months to think about me and the baby and sort myself out before she arrives. He has two other childrenwith another women and is a great dad, I have no doubt he’ll be there for her(maybe not financially, but we’ll see, he's self employed). Not sure if that makes it easier or harder with him being compliant, I’m trying to get over him and feelings are still there. Seeing him getting on with his life, not much changing, he still has his freedom and there’s me – having to give up my job, worried about paying my mortgage and my bills, thinking about declaring my car as SORN because I just can’t afford to live off statutory maternity pay, how am I going to live and eat, my body changing and my life completely changing. I’m feeling quite lonely and scared, I don’t have a particularly strong network of people around me, very small family. Everywhere I look there seems to be couples (understandably)getting excited about having a baby together, whereas I’m filled with worry and stress about how I’m going to do it all alone. I know it's the right thing to do but I'm really struggling to stay positive. There has to be people out there in the same or a similar situation as me?

Hey Rosey I was in a similar position to you except my ex left when I told him I was pregnant. My DD is now 3 and her father isn't involved. It is hard the first couple of months I won't lie but you get through it. My DD doesn't even notice she hasn't got a father, she always says I don't have a daddy I have you mummy. Do you have support in real life? Do you have a birthing partner?

This is how I thought when I would be at say a theme park with my dc and mum - you see families together but you have know idea if they are really getting alone or if the have issues.
When you and you ex were having a good day, walking around the shops looking at baby bits how many people were jealous and thought you had everything?
Men's life's rarely change of your with them or not. Can you both get so support together? See if you can work on your relationship. It's very easy to say let's do this alone, but very hard if you love him still. Because what happens sometimes is once the baby come you both will try again hoping it will work but haven't changed or worked on the issues and your be worse off for it.
When it comes to struggling, cut back, way back. Sort your car you don't need it, and will manage for a few months on buses if you need to. Cut extras out because even though it will be harder at some Points the added money worries will cause you more stress.
Plus if you don't go out that much when lo is here you paying for a car for nothing.
I hardly went, like just chilling with lo and when I did bused aren't that bad and make the time go longer so you waste more day when your feeling low.
Don't be jealous or feel like your missing out because you aren't your just taking a different path.
I managed with two, and I tried working on my first marriage because even though the love was gone I knew I would find it harder watching him with others, and it took years to get over it though I was so much better off. I loved doing most things alone because if you both can't work it's worse being with someone and still feeling unloved or scared.
Sorry long post sending you

Im a single parent to 4 (ex is absent) you will be fine! there is loads of single mums.

Making the choice you have already shows great strength of character - it might sound cheesy but your daughter already knows she is being born into love. Practically, I found my support network of family, friends and neighbours were a huge help when I went solo. So I'd encourage you to nurture those relationships if you can. Especially people having babies at the same time as you from an ante-natal group or whatever, someone once told me to think of these people as your new colleagues and I found that helpful, they don't need to be your new best pals (though sometimes that happens I hear) but you can help each other through that mad early bit. Be strong, look after yourself too, and don't be shy of asking for help when you need it. x