It's DC's weekend with their Dad and I have just got home from work, looking forward to fortnightly bit of peace and quiet only to be barraged with msgs. Youngest had a mild stomach bug last week. Sick on tuesday, 48 hrs off, bit quiet but otherwise ok. Then yesterday afternoon tummy ache followed by diarrhoea. Gave calpol, much better. I told him this and texted him info before he picked them up.
He msgd this morning asking again if she was ok and giving details of her bowel movements but due to being at work I only just got back to him an hour ago. Since then had a string of msgs in which it emerged that he's called a gp as didn't know what to do, even though as he said, she's feeling fine, just done a couple of loose poos!
Yes that just sounds like a worried but a bit clueless father. The stupid thing is though just before xmas he returned DC and youngest had croup, which he had done nothing about as thought it was just a cough (I don't kniw how as she was barking away). She is prone to croup and, as he knows, always needs steroids to bring it under control. Also, earlier in the year there was an incident where youngest fell (not witnessed by him), screamed uncontrollably for 20 minutes, was sick, then fell asleep for over an hour and needed waking (at 10 in the morning, i.e. extremely abnormal behaviour). He was adamant, even though he didn't witness, that she banged her leg. When he brought them back, she had a bruise on her forehead and eldest confirmed she had banged her head. He didn't seem to get why I was so concerned or see that he should have sought medical care asap...
Ok so you could say at least he's being cautious now but why can't he tell the difference between a mild winter bug and something potentially very serious?? (also about a year ago he msgd me in the middle of the night to tell me DC had been sick but it was ok, he'd called 111 for advice. Thanks for that!).
What it all boils down to is that even though he's left and day to day everything falls to me with no pretence of him giving a crap (which is a relief tbh), even when he has DC I still seem to be the one in charge. I still feel that weight of responsibility when it should be his.
Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this? I believe his intentions are good and as long as everything is arranged and spelled out for him so he doesn't have to think he will keep seeing DC. Has anyone else had an ex like this? If so how did you deal with them? Give them the info every time they asked or just leave them to it? The problem is he's proved his incompetence with the croup/banged head incidents so ignoring him would worry me in case something serious is happening and he doesn't know what to do.
Can anyone offer any advice at all? Still only a year and a half into this and DC only small. Thanks.