who sorts out the contact

[disneyspendingmoney]

I'm an RP with a court order that gives ex 3 hours in the community once a week .

So far with all the faffing with court ex has done little to nothing.

I don't want to be arsed arranging and organising my ex's life any more.

So I was thinking if I tell ex that by Wednesday every week I want a reasonable time and place to drop the dcs of at and then pick up. The court and social services have explained to ex that a pub is not considered reasonable and it needs to be age appropriate.

The only time you ex got close to actually nearly arranging something was a demand to come to the family home which I seriously do not feel comfortable about.

So is it reasonable for me to tell ex to come back to me with a consistent and coherent plan for ex's contact with in the scope of the court order? That are a) age appropriate and b) not where the dcs live

btw dcs are 11 &13

correction

The only time you ex

should read

*The only time my ex"

What age is dc?

I would ask for a set time and day. Otherwise it will be more messing about

dcs are 11 &13 the day and time is set by the court order the location isn't. my ex is demanding to come to the family home.

It is not his home because his children live there , the house is your home and where his children live so as far as I'm aware he cannot demand to meet them at yours. Your house is not 'in the community' it is a private residence.

However you tell him make sure it's by email etc so you have proof that you are trying to make arrangements and that you are being reasonable.

I assume this is him trying to be controlling or difficult to upset you rather than what is best for him to see the children. So sad some parents loose sight of what is important.

I really do get why you are fed up and don’t feel you should this sort this. The contact though is for your children with their Dad so can you support them to make some suggestions to him. That way you will know what they are thinking and he can’t start any crap about ‘but they only want to’. Ideally start something like a WhatsApp group if he has your phone number already so everyone knows who is saying what. You might want to start as you mean to go to on by gritting your teeth and ‘being in charge’. Try and make them plan well in advance if you can so you don’t have this each and every week as once ‘sorted’ you should be able to step back then. I do know people where it works well that ex comes to the house but like you I wouldn’t like it - not least because why should you go out each week. Try and also plan something for you at the time . This alone might make you want to be ‘in charge’ as you are saying you are required to drop off otherwise he could have you just taxing everywhere / anywhere. I know that ‘you shouldn’t have to’ in theory but just trying to put forward that there might actually be good if you do.