Newly single parent.. Help!

[DuggersK]

Hi, this is my first time on here- my sister suggested I started a discussion to see if anyone can give any advice.
I left my partner last weekend. I have two girls with me- one is nearly 2 and the other 14 weeks. We have moved into my moms but all 3 of us are in the same room.
I'm currently on maternity leave (I'm a teacher) and due to return to work around July..
Where do I start?! I have tried to call citizens advice but can't get through to anyone or seem to book an appointment. Will i be entitled to housing benefit? Or should I go down housing association route ?
I don't have any savings but my name is on the deeds and mottgage where I've just left (my ex has put all money into house).
Child maintenance?
Dealing with the girls on my own .. tips!
Any advice would be a big help.
Thank you in advance.

Why do you think you aren't entitled to live in the marital home?

I'm a teacher. Xh walked out when my youngest was 12 months after a long affair cockhead.

I kept the house. Got the mortgage in my name. Courts agreed.

Don't back down. Why should you not get the house? Pressumably you will have the DC living mainly with you?

Big to you. It's an awful thing to deal with with young DC. But you can get through this. You will get through this.

Go and see a solicitor

My xh, paid extra manitenance whilst they were in nursery to cover childcare?

I haven't got any tips for dealing with the DC. Mine are hardwork! I think as they get older it gets harder 😱

It's his house- he bought it and I moved into and in the years that passed we put my name on the mortgage and the deeds. I haven't put ant money into the house. We aren't married you see... just one big mess! Thank you for responding

On a teachers salary you could afford a private rent possibly - I am also an examiner and proof read resources for an exam board (both of which can be done when little one is asleep and extra money helps) Live with your parents while you save the deposit. I am also a teacher and lone parent. It is difficult but possible . . . Even enjoyable at times! Tips would be establishing a good bedtime routine so you get time to yourself at night as days can be intense. Bulk cook and iron only what is necessary!

Sorry to hear you are going through this, it’s tough, I’m newly single with a 6 month old and another on the way.

My hope is that once the dust settles and things calm down, life will all seem a lot better. Good luck to you. If you ever want to chat about anything or just have a moan, feel free to message me.

Do you have proof of his income? First up, ask for maintenance. If he won’t just pay up, report him to CMS.

Have you left anything of value behind? If so, get it.

You should be able to get child benefit paid to you immediately.

Can you realistically get to your place of work from your mum’s house? If not, you will need to look at moving somewhere you can. As a key worker, you have a better chance than many of HA housing. Call your local ones and see if any vacancies. You should be eligible for what used to be called housing benefit and maybe tax credits too. If no HA available, see how much you’d need as a deposit for a private rental.

Does DD1 go to nursery? If not, start looking for a nursery or childminder that can take both children while you are working.
With two sets of childcare, work probably isn’t going to ‘pay’ for a few years, but vital you stay employed to keep your own prospects good.

Re dealing with the children, routine is your friend. When it all gets on top of you, it is something to cling to.

I met a woman through ante-natal classes and we have become great friends, she helps a lot. Her DD is the same age as DS so that’s a bonus and it’s nice to have someone to get out of the house and do something with as my other friends are working.

So I’d say keeping busy and getting a good support network is great too,

Thanks for all the comments... Caddie- wishing you lots of luck with your new one too- sounds like you're in a right situation as well.

I have managed to get all of my possessions.

I can get to work from moms- there's nothing to say I'll be at the school I'm teaching at for long- I can always change jobs to somewhere closer if need be.

My ex said he'll pay child maintenance as soon as he's been paid in January- after Christmas etc etc - everyone is broke!

The house is up for sale and he has a viewing on Monday.

Apparently I'm best to cut ties with house and being on deeds - all goes against me when claiming for universal credit.

Thank God for bank of mom or id be really stuck.. she will help with a deposit on a rental property whilst I'm waiting on housing association to get back to me.

Who said life was easy eh!

Have a look about claiming tax credits or universal credits. This will let you know if you can get housing benefit.

How long have you been on the deeds/contributed to the property. My ex left me last year. The house was mine before we had the children. So we agreed the first £100k. Was mine. Then any positive equity over that and the mortgage it was 50/50.

He needs to pay 16% of his income to support the children. This is a minimum.

Contact housing at the council and get your name on the list. In my area this will be housing association accommodation. They maybe able to indicate how likely you are going to be housed. And offer advice on private renting in the area.

Citizen advice will be able to sign post you to what it available in your area.

Sorry you are in this position. Let people help you. They want to.

Hi @DuggersK

I just wanted to say good luck. It's daunting at the beginning but you will get through. I'm six months into being a single parent of two and my youngest was 4 weeks old when my ex left. Looking back, I have no idea how I got through those first weeks but I'm still standing now.

Whilst your housing situation is likely to be stressful, I'm sure being at your mum's will help. I have been completely on my own and I would have loved to have another adult nearby in the early weeks.

Have you got a good health visitor? If not, try and swap. There is a big variation in how good they are but I have an excellent one and she has helped so much.

You'll get there! Keep strong and keep going x